Pictures:

What is an example of a contact sport where nobody touches anyone else?

When people hide each others' contact lenses.

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Who is in charge of a bicycle factory?

The spokesperson

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What did the cat - whose name was Yow - say?

Me Yow.

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It's a lap top.

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Why are the tops of mountains called 'peaks'?

Because they peek at us from a distance.

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What ring weight absolutely nothing?

The ring tone of a phone.

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Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

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What does an orchestra have to do with war?

They both involve violins.

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How did the head of the orchestra feel when he couldn't find people to play in it?

It was disconcerting.

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Why do French eat snails?

They don't like fast food.

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What involves getting into the nitty-gritty of what is right and wrong?

Inte-gritty.

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What city is named after a saw that is used in battle?

Warsaw

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