Pictures:

Which Russian leader used delay tactics as a military strategy?

Stallin'

852

Why did Beth get so upset when there was only one straw left in the dining room, and someone else took it?

Because that was the last straw!

567

How to summarize a person's life after being convicted of a crime?

Con descending.

1125

Why didn't Bill talk about his skin rash?

It was a senstive topic.

517

What do you call a collie with a flower in its hair and eating melon?

Melancholy Cauliflower

290

Which dog breed enjoys eating twice as much as other breeds?

The Chow Chow

1519

What do you call a retired explorer?

An ex-plorer.

3020

How do you get someone to say 'Who's there?'

You say 'Knock, knock'

2974

What do you call someone who is an expert about alarm clocks?

An alarmist.

1588

What happens to a person whose drinking leads him to committing crimes?

He goes from drinking bars to jail bars.

2786

What was Bill's reaction when someone approached him with a negative attitude?

He was non-plussed.

1686

Why was Alan not sure he liked playing trumpet in the band?

Because afterwards he felt like he blew it.

2101