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What is a rebellious tick called?

A heretic.

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How do you describe a bar that got bad reviews?

The booze got boos.

1555

Why didn't people trust the model E phone?

They thought it was a phoney.

1170

What's another way of saying that it seems that I have 4 pears?

It appears that I have a pair of a pair of pears.

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Why did Martha lose weight when she ate vegetables?

Because they took away her appetite.

1048

Which U.S. Army battalion drives up to and then crawls under barbed-wire fences?

Jeepers Creepers

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Why is a mind like a parachute?

It only works when it is open.

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Why was there a rainbow after the flood of Noah's ark?

Because he passed with flying colors.

986

Horses are fun to ride...

...but make terrible neigh bors.

1485

What do cows use for money?

Moolah

2963

What is a doctor called who takes care of stomach gas?

A fizz-ician.

885

What is the healthiest kind of table?

A vege-table.

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