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Akiva Lane
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Why did the police arrest the comedian?

Because he was a riot.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim eat steak when he was investing in companies?

Because he wanted a stake in the companies.

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How can we summarize that Bill ruined his life because of a gambling addiction?

He threw away paradise for a pair of dice.

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Akiva Lane
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When John learned to play a musical instrument with his ear, what was the result?

He could play it by ear.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is dating tricky?

There might be a 'catch' in what looks like a good catch.

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Akiva Lane
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What's a good name for a parking garage that treats its customers like royalty?

Par King.

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Akiva Lane
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What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Joan do after she attached her schedule to a helium balloon?

She didn't know, because her plans were up in the air.

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Akiva Lane
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When the nerve cell tells the muscle cell to contract, what is the muscle cell's reaction?

You have some nerve!

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Bill tired driving to New York over the George Washington Bridge?

It took its toll.

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Akiva Lane
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What was it called when Grace tossed a pea pod to someone she wanted to stop arguing with?

A pod cast to start a peas process.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe when someone eats too much too fast?

Haste makes waist.

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