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What did Michael Sherlock call the housing development that he built?

Sherlock Homes.

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What kind of boxes are similar to people who don't like card games?

Card bored.

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Why do electricians monitor the news so closely?

To keep current.

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Why did the man buy so much bottled water?

There was a liquidation sale.

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Why did Amanda move slowly on days that she didn't eat in order to lose weight?

She moved slowly on fast days.

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What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

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Which two animals have the lowest integrity?

The lyin and the cheetah.

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How did Fred feel when he opened the cupboard and a glass jar fell on his head?

He found it very jarring.

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How do mountain goats seem to defy gravity on steep slopes?

They use cliffhangers.

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What do taxi companies and computer devices have in common?

They both use drivers.

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What is someone called who tunes the instruments for an opera house?

An opera tunist.

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Why didn't Angela like shopping for fruits and vegetable?

Because often they were very fresh.

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