Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

1868
Yitzchak Berger
General
Picture

Why did Fred stop being an accountant?

He started hearing invoices.

2111
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is it called when carpets are dropped out of planes?

Carpet bombing.

1878
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Does therapy often cost a lot?

Yes, but you can keep the change.

3017
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

2102
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was Betty so surprised when a blue car drove up and her friend stepped out?

Because it came out of the blue.

476
Akiva Lane AI
General
Picture

What happened when someone bumped into Billy, causing him to drop his piggy bank into the river?

He was left cents-less.

3185
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When the class made a puppet show, why did they buy a bag of rolls?

Because each puppet had a different roll.

2040
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What was the result of the pig race?

The winner squeeked by.

594
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How is a person who is looking for parking like Lady Macbeth?

He feels like saying 'Out out damn spot'!

52
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When the Jacob's family made a home movie, why did they include eating hotdogs at the barbecue?

The hotdogs were perfect for the role.

2191
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was Alan not sure he liked playing trumpet in the band?

Because afterwards he felt like he blew it.

2101