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What is a book about all the things that a person thinks they should have done differently?

An oughta-biography.

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What does the NLRB do?

They oversee support groups for expectant mothers.

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How do you describe a bar that got bad reviews?

The booze got boos.

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Why do people on a roller coaster say 'Weeeeee'?

Because it's more fun when it's done together with others.

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Why did Linda name her dogs Rolex and Timex?

They were her watch dogs.

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Why did the Chinese military leader suffer from malnutrition?

Everyone kept eating General Tso's chicken.

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How did the Curtis family feel after they had a pet bear for a month?

They couldn't bear it any more.

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What can you say about someone who wanted something for a long time?

The longing was long.

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What happened when the paint Jerry took spilled on his hands?

He was caught red handed.

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Why did John think he had Type O blood, when he really had Type A?

His birth records had a Type O.

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What is one level below first class?

Kindergarten.

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Why did Bill start working at the factory that makes incense?

Because it made sense.

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