Pictures:

What 2 letters do you use when talking to someone else about themselves?

UR

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What did the new furniture store say when they sold their first sofa?

Sofa so good.

2479

Why was the teacher arrested for using a compass and a ruler?

They are considered weapons of maths destruction.

671

Why was Bill hesitant to have a rock band play on his yacht?

He was always told it's not good to rock the boat.

1580

Why did Marla always start walking with her right foot?

She wanted to put her best foot forward.

365

What can have both a good and bad result?

Pennies from Heaven

209

What part of a computer screen doesn't speak so nicely?

The cursor.

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Why did the head of the school demand respect?

It was the principle of the thing.

2124

What is a bee from the United States called?

A USB.

1196

Why was it so easy to reverse-engineer this dessert recipe?

It was a piece of cake.

1261

Why couldn't the pony sing?

Because it was a little hoarse.

533

What is it called when someone drinks whisky when he has a sling on his arm?

A sling shot.

2911