Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why did Alan shoot an arrow into the wind?

He liked shooting the breeze.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

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Akiva Lane
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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you say to a bowl of kidney beans when you haven't eaten them for a while?

Where have you bean?

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the bee punished?

Because it didn't bee-have.

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Akiva Lane
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What is meat that falls on the floor called?

Ground meat.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens when a problem is solved twice?

It is resolved.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between a real man and one that is not real?

One is Sir Real, and the other is surreal.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Olivia put on a hat whenever she wanted to keep a secret?

Because she had to keep the secret under her hat.

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Akiva Lane
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What do stressful situations and camping have in common.

Then are both intense.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the therapist keep a bell in his office?

If what he said didn't ring a bell with the patient, he could ring the bell for the patient.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is it important that ducks learn to fly at an early age?

Because before they learn to fly they are just sitting ducks.

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