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Akiva Lane
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Why was Arnold arguing with his stomach?

Because he ate something that didn't agree with him.

2007
Akiva Lane
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What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe a fantastic egg?

Egg-cellent, egg-ceptional, and egg-stroadinary.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when lawyers make mistakes in the courtroom?

Trial and error.

1979
Akiva Lane
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What did the Howard Knot Rope Company say about its competitors?

They're not Knot knots.

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Akiva Lane
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What was Billy's reaction when he saw how many tiers of steps he had to climb to his seat in the last row?

It brought tiers to his eyes.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do prophets tell others about their visions?

The prophet motive is to wake people up to the truth.

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Akiva Lane
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When you are very tired and need to rest, where should you go?

A rest room.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did King Louis XV say, "After me the flood"?

Because he rained for 59 years.

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Akiva Lane
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What do these have in common? A smelly basketball, hitting a baseball too far to the right or left, and a dance of chickens?

They are all a foul ball.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the section of a hardware store that deals with fences called?

The department of de fence.

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Akiva Lane
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Why wasn't the company making money?

Its strategy made no cents.

1945