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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arnold dislike snakes?

He felt they were creepy.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the motto of a store that sends packaged liver to customers?

We deliver de liver.

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Akiva Lane
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What is news from last week called?

Olds.

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Akiva Lane
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Can a person who complains all the time be a vegetarian?

No, because he always has a beef.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Maxine want to charge the lightbulb with a saltwater battery?

She didn't want it to be charged with salt and battery.

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Shane Ronay
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What is the term for a relapse of influenza?

Deja Flu

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Akiva Lane
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What is a sharp, clever woman called?

A shrewd shrew.

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Akiva Lane
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What made Ted the Teddy bear so smart?

He really knew his stuff.

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Akiva Lane
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What are commas, periods, and question marks that are used in puns called?

Pun-cuation.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Alice feel when the point of her pencil often broke?

She thought, 'What's the point of using pencils? I'll use pens instead.'

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when Joe tripped on his neighbor's exposed sewer?

He wanted to sue her.

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Akiva Lane
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When the pioneers cut down trees to clear the land, how did they feel about the difficult process of uprooting the tree stumps?

They felt stumped.

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