Pictures:

What do you call a perfect egg?

Egg-selent.

463

What were the Smiths not concerned with?

Keeping up with the Joneses.

214

What is a trumpet made from a shoe called?

A shoe horn.

43

What letter of the alphabet is similar to a person with a split personality?

W

693

What do you call someone who is perspiring a lot in a sweater?

A sweater in a sweater.

3345

Where do pharmaceuticals go that don't need a prescriptinon?

They're over the counter.

1676

How did the pet turtle escape from the box it was in?

With out of the box thinking.

3213

How did Jeff feel when he lost the speech that he was going to give in an hour?

He was speechless.

742

P.T. Barnum was right...

There is a sucker born every minute.

1306

In this necklace made up of rings, what is the ring with the diamond called?

The ring leader.

2916

What can be said about someone who buys lots of books but doesn't read them?

The person has no shelf control.

792

What is it called when a leak is fixed in the ceiling?

Sealing the ceiling.

2362