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Akiva Lane
General
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On what kind of day does time seem to go slowest?

On a fast day.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jerry looked at his legs, how did he know that he was eating too much?

His calves had become cows.

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Shane Ronay
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What is the proper term for a clash between snakes?

A hissy fit

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Akiva Lane
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When the teacher said there's no such thing in English as a double positive making a negative, how did a student respond?

Yeah, right.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call an alligator who is a detective?

An investigator.

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Akiva Lane
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If a person is comfortable in social situations, what does he have?

Social security.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is the name for the animal duck misleading?

Because when a hunter tries to shoots at it, it doesn't duck, it flies away.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe stop stealing, get a job with a salary?

He found that crime does not pay.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you get after you finish sleeping?

You get up.

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Akiva Lane
General
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How did workers feel about going out on strike?

They felt the labor pains would give birth to a better situation.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why don't gluten-free people consume wheat?

It goes against their grain.

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Shane Ronay
General
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What is true about most of the of fish in Paris?

They are in Seine

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