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What happens if a cat falls into vinegar?

It becomes a sourpuss.

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What are Siamese twins that are spies called?

Double agents.

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Why did Betty hold things very tightly when things got tough?

She didn't want things to get out of hand.

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Why didn't Martha mind that she had a run in her stockings?

She figured it didn't really matter in the long run.

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What kind of bean has regrets?

A coulda bean.

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Why was Bill hesitant to have a rock band play on his yacht?

He was always told it's not good to rock the boat.

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How long must one walk a dog that lives indoors?

Until they're pooped.

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How do we know that the ancient Egyptians were not honest?

They were into pyramid schemes.

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How did Amanda feel about the fact that science doesn't understand why people are ticklish?

She thought it was mys-tickle.

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How do you distinguish between a numerator and denominator?

There's a fine line between the two.

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What do you say when you have trouble opening a jar of sesame paste?

Open sesame.

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What do you call a bat that makes short, periodic dinging noises?

A dingbat.

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