Pictures:

What did the man say when needing to repair his socks?

Darn!

2545

Why was the dolphin depressed?

It felt it had no porpoise in life.

556

Where do shoes go to get stronger?

Boot camp.

3187

Why is being grateful the best investment?

It always appreciates.

2159

How does one refer to the hallways at mental institutions?

Psycho paths.

3049

What happens when you put on a thick sweater and get very hot?

You become the sweater.

1918

Why was running to the grocery store not her first run that morning?

She first ran out of milk.

1091

Why is this large gun a better value than smaller ones?

It provides a bigger bang for your buck.

1268

Why did Sam look online for a site that sold scratch?

He wanted to build things from scratch.

1858

What is a newspaper that puts you asleep called?

The snooze news.

455

Why was the keyboard unhappy?

Because its keys were always depressed.

2099

Why don't ATM machines provide quarters?

It doesn't make cents.

2240