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What was the result of the pig race?

The winner squeeked by.

594

Why is it best to avoid jealousy?

Because it ends with lousy.

1830

What is a dehydrating fruit business like?

It's full of hot air.

1105

Why did the foolish prospector think the goldmine was his?

There was a sign outside it that said "Mine".

1083

What did the first humans say to each other?

"You man".

2770

What is considered reasonable at the UN?

Things that are un-reasonable.

2574

Why didn't Bill want to work in the ice cream factory?

He didn't like working on sundaes.

3100

Why did the genie go to a psycho-therapist?

Because he felt all bottled-up.

1079

Where are the remnants of Noah's Ark kept?

In the Arkive.

2456

Is there anything absolute about families?

It's all relative.

1728

How does a pipefitter foreman ensure his workers aren't too noisy when on jobsites?

He asks them to pipe down.

983

How did Joe the boxer feel after being slugged in the face?

He felt very sluggish.

2155