Pictures:

What did Barry say when he saw his neighbor put a muzzle on his dangerous dog?

Muzzle Tov!

1835

How are a sanitation truck and computer similar?

Both are garbage in / garbage out

590

Why did Jenny dislike her job as a stenographer?

Because her boss was a dictator.

60

In a polarized society, what is the result of discussions between people with opposite views?

What is discussed results in disgust.

2657

What is the term for a relapse of influenza?

Deja Flu

2955

Why did the luxury home builder use only inexpensive laminate kitchen countertops?

He lost his marbles

216

What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

1164

Why didn't Martha like having pet ducks?

She found they weren't what they were quacked up to be.

2167

After the earthquake destroyed the land where a well was, what did the engineer say who was looking for it in the dark?

I don't feel well.

3298

Why did the quarterback run instead of throwing to his wide receiver?

He was cut off at the pass.

492

Why was Bob concerned about the impression he made when he ran on the treadmill?

He didn't want people to think he was just a run of the mill guy

464

Why did Andrea make beautiful drawings?

That's how she drew attention to herself.

1423