Pictures:

How did Andy feel when the skin doctor cancelled his apppointment?

He felt irritated.

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Why did the unemployed actor break his leg?

He wanted to be in a cast.

406

How did John feel when his alarm clock woke him up?

He found it alarming.

112

What did the Howard Knot Rope Company say about its competitors?

They're not Knot knots.

3081

Why was the king nauseous?

Because the people were revolting.

1672

What does the NLRB do?

They oversee support groups for expectant mothers.

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What do people wear when going out to battle?

A war drobe.

844

How did guests know chili would be the main course?

Somebody spilled the beans.

1822

How do you add 4 letters to LAUGH and 1 letter to LAUGHTER to completely change their meaning?

OnsLAUGHt and sLAUGHTER.

3011

Why did Bruce breed racing deer?

He wanted to make a fast buck.

1898

What do auto mechanics call their rest periods?

Coffee brakes.

1451

What is similar between getting off drugs and the day after Thanksgiving?

Cold turkey.

1724