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How did Angela feel when she saw a rattlesnake in the park?

She felt rattled.

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Why did Bill eat ice cream every day?

It cooled him down when so many things made his blood boil.

656

Why did Fred stop being an accountant?

He started hearing invoices.

2111

Why was the baker happy?

Because he had all that he kneaded.

802

What do you call a small circle that is very relaxed?

Dot calm.

3028

What electronic device is named after an American insect?

USB

608

How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

119

What are commas, periods, and question marks that are used in puns called?

Pun-cuation.

2180

Why did the scarecrow win a very special award?

Because it was outstanding in its field.

1189

How did John like his job as a bartender?

He found it very pouring.

2500

Where did Shakespeare play as a child that helped him learn to write plays?

The playground.

3281

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

853