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Why did the bears stop being friends?

They found each other unbearable.

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What did the oil prospector say when he found out the oil well was dry?

Oh, well!

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What did the mid-wife say to the woman giving birth?

Grin and bear it.

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Why was Walt Disney happy after visiting Mickey Mouse in the hospital?

Because he saw that Mickey was very animated.

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Why is a mind like a parachute?

It only works when it is open.

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What is a cookie with a PhD called?

A smart cookie.

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At what kind of table does one read the New York Times?

The Times table.

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What is a factory that packages eggs called?

An egg plant.

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What part of a river is in the present?

Its currents.

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What month is not sure of itself?

May.

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How many degrees does a wrong angle have?

We know it's not 90 degrees, because that's a right angle.

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What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

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