Pictures:

Why did the programmer call an exterminator?

Because he had a bug in his program.

722

Why did the injured man show no emotion for 6 weeks?

He'd broken both his humerus and sternum.

1067

How did Elliot's investment in the chicken farm work out?

It took him a while to re-coop his investment.

689

Why do 95% of bald people still own a comb?

They can't part with it.

2221

What do you call a crockpot that is broken?

A crackpot.

2580

What do you call a store that sells candy and serves liquor?

A candy bar.

3331

Why was Bill hesitant to have a rock band play on his yacht?

He was always told it's not good to rock the boat.

1580

What is a meal eaten by a pilot in a supersonic jet?

Fast food.

1154

What word describes a great car salesman?

He has car-isma.

1568

What are these people doing?

Driving people bananas.

1794

Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

823

What time is this?

A quarter after 5.

2727