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Akiva Lane
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What do these have in common: a fish in the ocean, doing things well, and a small apartment?

They all involve efficiency.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who is always drinking coffee?

A caf-fiend.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call ticks that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly ticks.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of tails come with a list of specifics?

Details.

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Akiva Lane
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When Alan and Betty Jones got lost during the African safari, what was their main worry?

They didn't want to be caught behind enemy lions.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the air traffic contoller fired?

Because he didn't know what was flying.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of question is, 'What came first, the chicken or the egg'?

Its an egg-sistential question.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did George make a large model of a dime?

Because he wanted to learn how to fall asleep on a dime.

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Akiva Lane
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What do discount stores and farewell parties have in common?

They have a lot of good buys.

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Shane Ronay
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How is your mother's annoying baby sister similar to a city in Western Europe?

They're both aunt twerps.

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Shane Ronay
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What happens to old Texas Rangers who can no longer serve?

They become de-ranged

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Akiva Lane
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What type of log is slow and delayed?

The back-log.

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