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Why did this company have a bad reputation?

They were suspected of monkey business.

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How did the geometry teacher feel when she saw her children teaching geometry to her grandchildren?

She felt that life had come full circle.

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What does a policeman, a fireman, and a doorman all have in common?

They're all men.

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Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

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What do you call a piece of pottery in the shape of a duck?

A quack pot.

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What does the Eiffel Tower have in common with a tick?

They are both Paris sights.

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What did Mrs. Gard call it when she changed her twin babies?

The changing of the Gards.

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What is the Sherlock Holmes story where he solves the mystery of the missing pillow?

The pillow case.

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How in one word can one complain that their grapes aren't ripe yet?

Gripe

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What do you call a tile that can do many things?

Versa tile.

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What did Jim call his life after he decided not to major in math?

The aftermath.

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What do employees of a pen company get when they retire?

A pen sion.

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