Pictures:

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

Why did Joe find it hard to get a date?

Because his attitudes were dated.

353

What do employees of a pen company get when they retire?

A pen sion.

2882

If a leader doesn't have a clear inspiring vision, what is the result?

Di-vision.

250

Why did Joe race Fred to the punch-bowl at the party?

He wanted to beat him to the punch.

1538

Why is moving from one house to another like fighting?

Because it involves boxing.

1553

Why are lawyers happy?

Because they're always dealing with parties.

3127

What does a lawyer and someone who gave up liquor have it common?

They both passed the bar.

803

Why is this bench so comfortable?

The lumber support.

1062

What is similar about these 2 pictures?

They are both sublime

1576

What are these signs called?

Dollar signs.

3010

Why did Marty want to be an electrician?

He thought it would be an electrifying experience.

833