Pictures:

What is a dog called that swims back and forth in a pool?

A lap dog.

1200

What kind of arithmetic did Julius Caesar like?

Divide and conquer.

2558

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

Because it was two tired.

1330

What did Matt Silver call his new software company?

Silver Ware.

2035

What happens to an ethical Italian cleaning lady after she passes away?

She's a maid in heaven.

1495

Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

823

How did Mark regard his habit of drinking beer every day?

He regarded it as minor ale-ment.

2194

What are mens' favorite legume?

Chick peas

683

What is it called when musicians play their instruments together in their cars?

A traffic jam.

2947

What did the geologist call his book about the cliffs near the ocean?

Cliff's Notes.

2498

What is another name for a florist?

A petal pusher

509

What do you need to spell the word Panda?

Just a P and A.

1908