Pictures:

What is news from last week called?

Olds.

2074

Why did the newborn require immediate surgery?

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

1274

Why is the last part of a meal called dessert?

That's when people desert their diet.

34

What did people call their activity of dashing things over the cliffs onto the rocks 100 yards below?

The hundred yard dash.

1847

Why does the calendar have a good social life?

It has a lot of dates.

1882

It escapes me.

1308

What is another name for a florist?

A petal pusher

509

How to describe a boxer too tired to continue?

Out of whack.

637

What can you take when you are dirty?

You can take a shower or you can take a bath.

503

Why was Bob always looking down at his wife's high heel shoes?

Because he was head over heels over her.

1578

What is the person who a cougher coughs on called?

Coffee.

944

Which vegetable is best served mashed?

Squash

1046