Pictures:

Why did Martha feel bad for her calendar?

Because its days are numbered.

1370

Is there anything absolute about families?

It's all relative.

1728

What ring weight absolutely nothing?

The ring tone of a phone.

2915

How do some people react when seeing a bee colony this large?

Thjey get the hives

1466

What is it called when you 'burn the midnight oil' to stay awake studying for midterm exams?

Term oil.

3154

Why did Max pay a lot of money for a bed?

Because it was a bedder bed.

713

What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

2307

What is the difference between giving something away for free and charging a fee for it?

The letter R.

2234

Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

2102

What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

1382

What does it take to be a great telemarketer?

Focus. You must be dialed-in.

1571

What is the government official in charge of the fence called?

The Minister of De Fence.

6