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What is a good chili recipe?

Go outside without a coat.

1470

Why did Cynthia love her calculator?

Because she knew that she could always count on it.

3189

How did Phil become such an expert at bumper cars?

He took a crash course.

868

Why didn't Martha mind that she had a run in her stockings?

She figured it didn't really matter in the long run.

529

How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

2025

Why was Maxine confused about how seriously to take Allen?

She didn't know if he was "Sir Real" or "Surreal".

2043

What does a faucet, a clock, and an athlete have in common?

The are all running.

2625

In music how much is a quarter note worth?

25 cents.

1714

What is an arrangement with UPS, Fedex, or DHL to send a package called?

A package deal.

2774

Why did the orange teacher call the student 'fresh'?

Because he couldn't concentrate.

3121

How did Joe feel when he reached to pick up a stick, and it turned out to be a rattlesnake?

He felt rattled.

3089

How are making puns similar to oil drilling?

They both can be crude or refined.

2136