What's the opposite of a Thanksgiving turkey?

A spring chicken.

1011

Though Joe was a great pitcher, why did he insist on playing other positions on the baseball team?

He didn't want to be pitch-in holed.

1149

What French Queen did not advocate dieting?

Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake.'

2200

Why was the ballet teacher considered to be so good?

She really kept her students on their toes.

1516

When Sharon found an old copy of Crime and Punishment, what was she holding?

A dusty Dostoevsky.

676

Do cows generally live alone?

It's generally un-herd of.

1249

How did the can opener get its name?

Because it 'can' open things.

1691

Why didn't Pharaoh believe anything Moses said?

It was in a State of de Nile.

547

What did Bill's therapist say about his putting plus signs in front of all numbers?

He said it was a good sign and a positive development.

109

After reading the news each day, what is the main question that can occur to you?

What can explain the second half of the word 'mankind'?

2077

Did Arlene like the new vacuum cleaner?

She thought it sucks.

1737

Why did Sam put his shoes close to the fireplace?

When people say 'hot shoes', he says 'G-d bless you'.

761