Pictures:

What do psychologists and accountants both say?

It's important to be positive.

2989

How did the smoker, who craved a cigarette, feel when he got to smoke one?

Nicotine in the nick of time.

3137

What is considered reasonable at the UN?

Things that are un-reasonable.

2574

What's the combination of a man and a lima bean?

A human bean.

1748

What are these people doing?

Driving people bananas.

1794

What did Alan say about his daughter traveling so much after she won the state's beauty contest?

I miss miss Missouri.

1965

What is happening to this car?

It's being toad.

2744

Why did Sam sing while he built houses?

He wanted to build them soundly.

2798

Why did the students love to learn how to spell?

Their teacher was spell binding.

2204

Come Precious...it's time for dinner!

Not right meow.

2061

How to summarize a person's life after being convicted of a crime?

Con descending.

1125

What is the realization that all life begins as a fertilized egg?

It's egg-sistential.

614