Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Do people gain weight as they get older?

If they do, it's a waist of time.

2073
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the rock band like playing on wide stages?

They liked having good bandwidth.

1641
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why did Debra Smith come up with exactly 1,263 famous idioms?

That's all she wrote.

1791
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What happened when the teacher taught a class without preparing?

She prepared much better in the future, she learned her lesson.

2021
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What did the cop say to the driver who offered a bribe?

Fine.

1479
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Which dog breed enjoys eating twice as much as other breeds?

The Chow Chow

1519
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was the uncle's wife nervous?

She was feeling 'auntsy'.

2119
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did the waiter get when he served a meal of iceberg lettuce?

The tip of the iceberg.

936
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Bob feel uncomfortable buying puppets from the puppet store?

He always felt there were strings attached.

2694
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Can a person who complains all the time be a vegetarian?

No, because he always has a beef.

1058
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

1831
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What is the largest bone on hippos?

Their hips.

1065