Pictures:

What is this man trying to do?

He's trying to make ends meet.

2707

Is the quantum physics theory about electrons disappearing and reappearing elsewhere really true?

That's neither here nor there.

878

How did guests know chili would be the main course?

Somebody spilled the beans.

1822

Why was this water making high-pitched noises?

Because it was a creak.

1472

What did Frankenstein say when he got older?

My mind isn't what it used to be.

1030

What relative did Bill Royd name the phone operating system after?

Aunt Royd.

1717

What did the circus do to the trapeze artist who wasn't performing well?

It suspended him.

2211

Why did Jim's friends buy him a 10-foot pole?

Now he has a 10-foot pole to not touch objectionable things with.

577

Why did the weight-loss clinic hire a dermotologist?

To make people skinny.

1816

In what direction do people clean?

They clean up.

2389

Why did the boxer become a good comedian?

He knew how to deliver a good punch-line.

998

What happened to the circus performer who swallowed a wood file?

He got a raspy voice.

1006