Pictures:

Why did the telemarketer use his clavicle to rest his headset?

Because that's his caller bone.

1063

What kind of bean has regrets?

A coulda bean.

731

Why didn't people trust the model E phone?

They thought it was a phoney.

1170

Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

3197

What do you get when you find someone you want to marry?

You get married.

319

Why was Fred very good at sleeping?

He could do it with his eyes closed.

1332

What part of a car is similar to these wooden dashes?

The dashboard.

2878

How did the hacker get away?

He ransomeware.

3219

What happened when Max’s wife asked him to get plums from the grocery store?

He plum forgot.

1172

How do you describe a cow that is very particular about the food it eats?

It chooses its cud.

473

Why did Sam dislike going across the bridge on the way to work?

He found that every day it took its toll.

1016

When Matthew Gen was knighted, why did people think he was a doctor?

Because people called him Sir Gen.

2910