Pictures:

Why didn't Jerry want to buy a car without a clutch?

He regarded it as shiftless.

879

What did the Mayor say about the turnstile jumping on the subway?

That's not fare!

1476

Why did the insulted person steal a fence?

Because he took offense.

429

If seagulls fly near the sea, what birds fly near the bay?

Bagels.

304

What do you call an engineer that dries out the water from streams?

An ex-stream-ist.

2596

Why did Arnold print out the word MONEY and put it into his chopped liver?

He wanted to spread the word.

2255

Why did the spoiled child want to become a stage designer?

He liked making a scene.

2083

Which dog breed echoes an overly enthusiastic relative?

A Pinscher

1521

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?

A maybe.

854

What do you call a pilot that learns to fly at night?

A fly by night.

2028

Why did Alan make sure his deck wasn't empty when he played with his kids?

He wanted to make sure he was playing with a full deck.

1738

What collection of animals gets its name from the sounds they make together?

A herd.

2041