Pictures:

Why did Martha feel bad for her calendar?

Because its days are numbered.

1370

What is it called when you wave to someone with a small gesture?

A micro wave.

1339

Why did Alan make sure his deck wasn't empty when he played with his kids?

He wanted to make sure he was playing with a full deck.

1738

What is the condition called where a person is not allergic to cars?

Auto immune condition.

1040

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

974

Why was the lady afraid to get her head measured at sea?

She was afraid of cap sizing.

190

What did Matt Silver call his new software company?

Silver Ware.

2035

How did the rose deal with the challenges of life?

It always rose to the occasion.

1037

What is it called if someone thinks they can learn Torah by listening to Beatle music?

Beatle Torah.

2483

What is it called when an iceberg gives a waiter a nice tip?

The tip of the iceberg.

2439

What happened to the mathematical function that was very tired?

It couldn't function.

2880

Why did the CEO buy sailboats for the company?

He wanted to increase sails.

511