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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill's moving company shake the furniture as they moved it?

Because they wanted to be movers and shakers.

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Akiva Lane
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How do people in Outland behave?

Their behavior is outlandish.

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Akiva Lane
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Did the baker find it difficult to learn his craft?

He thought it was a piece of cake.

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Akiva Lane
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What would happen if Earth was attacked by giant spiders from outer space?

A world wide web.

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Why was Sandy sure that her daughter would become an actress?

Because every time she didn't get her way, she would make a scene.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is 8 followed by 9?

Because if you're offered food after you ate, you say: Nein.

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What do you call it when a person wants to jump into a sewer?

Sewer-cide.

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What are suits called that students in a high school class wear during political demonstrations?

Class action suits.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

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How does the can opener get its name?

Because it can open things.

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How does a skunk know how to release its smell?

It uses its in-stinked.

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Where did Shakespeare play as a child that helped him learn to write plays?

The playground.

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