Why did the Chinese military leader suffer from malnutrition?

Everyone kept eating General Tso's chicken.

335

When John proposed to Joan, what playing card did he look like to Joan?

The King of Hearts.

771

Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

810

What do you call a place with a lot of spiders?

A web site.

475

Do you want an ark for protection from a flood?

I Noah guy who can help.

984

How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

220

What is the proper way to greet the Dalai Lama?

Hello Dalai!

282

What do you call a group of crying babies?

A whinery.

158

What can you say about the person who founded Kelloggs?

He was a cereal entrepreneur.

151

My friend stopped working at the chemical factory.

It was a toxic work environment.

1402

Why didn't Beverly believe anything written on the humidifier?

Because it was full of hot air.

1023

What is the proper term for a clash between snakes?

A hissy fit

219