Pictures:

What is this man doing with the two pieces of fruit?

He's comparing a pair of pears.

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Why did Arlene buy a rug?

She had some problems that she wanted to sweep under it.

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Why did the dermatologist find a new job?

He was getting rash with his patients

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What do you say when you finish going through the everglades?

See you later alligator.

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An elevator pitch.

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What happened when a jar of pickles spilled onto music sheets?

It made sour notes.

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How do you describe a cow that is very particular about the food it eats?

It chooses its cud.

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Why did Bill bring a hammer to the party?

He thought it might be useful to break the ice during conversations.

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What would it be called if you wrapped a city in a big blue blanket?

Rhapsody in Blue.

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Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

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When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

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Why did the mint chocolate candies look so fresh and clean?

Because they were in mint condition.

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