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Akiva Lane
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Why did Martha love walking on the boardwalk?

She never had a bored walk on the boardwalk.

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Akiva Lane
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What did farmer Bill Rath call the grapes that grew in his vineyard?

Grapes of Rath.

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What permission is needed to kill lice?

A lice sense.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Martha become a vegetarian?

She realized what was at steak.

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Akiva Lane
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When the patient said he had trouble with his memory, how did the doctor respond?

In that case, you pay me up front.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Bill like raquetball?

He thought it was off-the-wall.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the bed feel bad?

When people slept on it, it felt under a rest.

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Akiva Lane
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What do athletes and musicians have in common?

They want to make records.

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Akiva Lane
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In music how much is a quarter note worth?

25 cents.

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How did the spice feel when it were burned?

It was incensed.

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The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the Jack-in-the-Box have trouble getting married?

He was an out-of-the-box kind of guy.

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