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What did the geologist call his book about the cliffs near the ocean?

Cliff's Notes.

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After Joe's dog Spot ran away, why was his house cleaner?

Because it was Spot-less.

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What vitamin is similar to a girl's Bas Mitzvah?

Vitamin B12

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Why are there so many types of Asian cuisine?

For different woks of life.

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How do you describe a mediocre seamstress?

A so-so sew-sew.

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Why did Maxine buy the more expensive bed?

It was bedder.

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What is it called when people hold that only their belief system is valid?

Pious bias.

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What is it called when you use an Apple computer to cut through loads of information to find what you are looking for?

Mac the knife.

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Why did King Louis XV say, "After me the flood"?

Because he rained for 59 years.

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How did John feel when his alarm clock woke him up?

He found it alarming.

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Why did the programmer call an exterminator?

Because he had a bug in his program.

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Why didn't Beverly believe anything written on the humidifier?

Because it was full of hot air.

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