Pictures:

Why didn't people trust the model E phone?

They thought it was a phoney.

1170

What did Jim call his life after he decided not to major in math?

The aftermath.

1285

Why is it good to limit the amount of news you ingest every day?

It's not a coincidence that it's called De Press.

1943

Why did Mrs. Jones put the steaks in the freezer higher than the kids could reach?

Because the steaks were high.

2992

Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

821

What kind of log can't change directions?

An ideologue.

1419

What type of tree is this?

A palm tree.

265

Which paintings are not on display in museums?

Those with no strings attached.

194

What is a break in a wall that is very smart?

A wisecrack.

2949

Why didn't Fred accept rides with other people, and preferred to walk?

Because he didn't want to be taken for a ride.

867

How did Sandra feel about half the numbers when she was learning arithmetic?

She thought they were odd.

904

Why did the butcher not take down the steaks from the top shelf of his freezer?

Because the steaks were too high.

3203