Pictures:

To measure the size of a bagel, how much of the bagel do you include?

You include the whole.

2660

Why don't they sharpen pencils at both ends?

What's the point?

1687

Why was there a rainbow after the flood of Noah's ark?

Because he passed with flying colors.

986

How did Frank's hitch-hiking trip go?

It went without a hitch.

1400

When Andrea lost her ring, what did her husband suggest?

Try calling it, and see if it rings.

1177

Why did Jim's friends buy him a 10-foot pole?

Now he has a 10-foot pole to not touch objectionable things with.

577

Why did Mrs. Roberts have only large pots in her kitchen?

She was embarrassed to ask a store 'Do you have a little pot?'

2497

What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

417

Why did Janet join the church choir?

She likes singing hims.

1481

Why did the CEO move the company from the 3rd floor to the 4th floor?

Because he wanted to take the company to the next level.

860

How many teenagers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. He stands still, and the world revolves around him.

3301

Why did the man give up Reader's Digest?

He had a digestive disorder.

1068