What is the best month to buy and sell jewelry?

Jewel-eye.

1098

Which hospital emphasizes high-fat condiments to cure diseases?

The Mayo Clinic

1001

What are events before they unfold?

Folded.

621

What happened on April 16th and 17th 1986?

This man got his dates mixed up.

1085

Why is it that lions get more food than tigers, leopards, and jaguars?

They always get the lion's share

271

How did the elder people like the larger playing cards?

For them it was a big deal.

1161

Who was Zig Ziglar's brother, and why did they never see each other?

Zag Ziglar, and they were always in opposite places.

780

Why was Mrs. Jones always looking under her son's bed?

She was hoping that there might be something new under the son.

1407

What is the study of focusing on others called?

Yourology

1116

What is a father called who is an expert at doing things?

A doo dad.

1385

How did Max feel about having lice?

It made him feel lousy.

53

What does Shakespeare getting sick have to do with feeling angry at someone?

ILL WILL.

252