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What happened to the man who sued the airline for losing his luggage?

He lost his case.

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Why did Fred stop being an accountant?

He started hearing invoices.

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Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a farmer's field?

Because potatoes have eyes, corn has ears, and the beanstalk.

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What do you call someone who puts together kitchen cabinets?

A counter fitter.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

Because it was two tired.

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What do you need to spell the word Panda?

Just a P and A.

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What was Bill's reaction when he got hit in the head with a can of soda?

He felt lucky it was a soft drink.

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What does Sudafed mean?

Bringing litigation against a government official.

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Why didn't Joe play hide-and-seek very often?

Good hide-and-seek players are hard to find.

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Why didn't Jane play hide and seek?

Good players are hard to find.

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What do you call someone who helps on a farm?

A farm assist.

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Why was the teacher arrested for using a compass and a ruler?

They are considered weapons of maths destruction.

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