Pictures:

What items does someone most need to weather an emergency?

Staples

294

What diagnosis caused the man to break his leg by being too anxious?

A stress fracture

296

What is the largest bone on hippos?

Their hips.

1065

Is the legend about how Arthur became king actually true?

Sword of.

331

What did the losing coach say about his opponent after losing by 52 points?

I found them very offensive.

1774

Why was the son of a drapery store owner upset when flunking out of college?

He knew it was curtains for him.

376

Why are trombone players usually easy going people?

They've learned to let things slide.

827

What are these soldiers doing?

Trying to keep their chin-ups.

1292

Which type airplane do people like to stare at?

A Leer Jet.

1566

Why did the newborn require immediate surgery?

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

1274

Which martial art was this rabbi most proficient at?

Jew-Jitsu

413

What happened when a jar of pickles spilled onto music sheets?

It made sour notes.

690