Pictures:

What is the vegetable of choice for most percussionists?

Beets, of course.

1045

How did the squirrel corner the market on acorns?

He opened many branches.

182

How much does a teenager weigh?

An Instagram.

796

What do you call robins enjoying the sun?

Basking robbins.

1721

Why wasn't Tom happy with the fund his broker suggest he buy?

The feeling wasn't mutual.

383

What is a contradictory fact about this specific school?

It's off a 4 lane highway.

491

What did the man say whose property was destroyed by a meteor?

It really left an impact.

592

Why do dessert lovers like this airline?

They serve pie in the sky.

1300

What is one advantage of being indecisive?

Having the benefit of the doubt.

1821

What is the official nut of schools and educators?

mACADEMIA nuts

789

Why did the priest act so differently in church?

It was his altar ego

1460

What is another name for a florist?

A petal pusher

509