Pictures:

Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

823

Why are trombone players usually easy going people?

They've learned to let things slide.

827

Why is this bandwagon no longer in use?

Too many people were jumping on it.

1813

What does a smart person have in common with a school principal?

They are both in charge of their faculties.

3168

How does a butcher greet his customers?

Nice to meat you!

195

What did the man's wife say when he woke up hung over, after a party?

She asked what was "ale"ing him.

706

How does one get men to listen?

Stress to "He'd" his words.

1483

Which dog breed enjoys a traditional Jewish breakfast?

Beagles

1520

Which part of the world do people contract mild forms of amnesia?

Micronesia

1104

What happens to unsold bread from the bakery?

It's toast.

434

How would you refer to your dog-sitting neighbor that lost your pet?

Your dog gone neighbor.

1557

What novel experience did Dan like to share with others?

His joy of reading new novels.

1088