Pictures:

Why did the priest act so differently in church?

It was his altar ego

1460

How to people from this country justify where they were born?

They must Peruv it.

1209

Why was the lady afraid to get her head measured at sea?

She was afraid of cap sizing.

190

Why do commuters need sleep specialists?

They are always exhausted.

2219

What do you get when your optician is a comedian?

A man who makes a spectacle of himself.

1060

How does the chief groundskeeper raise the flag in front of Yankee Stadium?

He uses his staff.

228

Why was Timmy destined to become a tennis pro?

He raised a racket since he was young.

377

Why did the flock of unshorn sheep keep bumping into each other?

They had the wool over their eyes

222

What is true about this famous journalist?

His name is Mudd

1298

Why is wine part of religious ceremonies?

Because it's De' vine.

1702

What did the English actor say when asked if this image could be in England?

Yes, that's my queue.

1473

How did the podiatrist react to having no patients all week?

De-feeted

498