Pictures:

Why did Tom get fired from the kitchen hardware business?

He just couldn't handle it.

379

How to properly refer to someone convicted for illegally texting?

Con-text

1093

What did the mother do whose son chewed on an electrical cord?

She grounded him until he conducted himself properly.

433

How was the octopus able beat the shark in a fight?

It was well armed.

795

What type of tree is this?

A palm tree.

265

What do you call online support for barbers?

Eclips

2130

How does appreciation show one's intelligence?

You're a great fool if your not grate ful.

2243

How was the woman able to remember to buy a new pail?

It was on her bucket list.

201

What is another name for the Stanley Cup Finals?

The Punch Bowl

231

Did Steve really buy this antique violin for only $5?

Yes, and with no strings attached!

813

Which Russian leader used delay tactics as a military strategy?

Stallin'

852

What's good advice when photographing celestial beings?

Be sure you get the best angel.

1027