Pictures:

Why wasn't Tom happy with the fund his broker suggest he buy?

The feeling wasn't mutual.

383

What are these people doing?

Driving people bananas.

1794

Why was the lady afraid to get her head measured at sea?

She was afraid of cap sizing.

190

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

What did the sheep say to his friend who had been sheared?

Boy did you get fleeced.

1137

What's the best way to get people to listen to you?

Create a heeded discussion.

1496

What is the exact enrollment at the Carmelite Convent?

Nun

1499

How did we know the Russian musician would be a good match for the ballet dancer?

Because he played the ballet lika.

815

Why do dessert lovers like this airline?

They serve pie in the sky.

1300

Which dog breed is the most inherently spoiled?

Rot weilers

1518

What's he doing?

Flying by the seat of his pants.

1281

How did the new photographer's business double in no time?

Increased exposure.

1599