Pictures:

What device do psychologists use to measure positive emotions?

An Oh!dometer

840

What are "octopy"?

Pizzas topped with calamari.

2356

How did Gary build a successful drainpipe business?

Having his mind in the gutter.

1805

How do authorities in England express their appreciation for the public maintaining orderly lines?

They say, "ThanQueue

545

How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

1035

What are abortions called in Czechoslovakia?

Cancelled Czechs

2116

What do those who negotiate atomic non-proliferation treaties study?

Nuclear Medicine

2003

Which city do the inhabitants rarely need an alarm clock?

Waco, Texas

421

Which famous explorer invented the golf shirt?

Marco Polo

1600

What happens when a wolf learns about mindfulness?

He becomes aware wolf.

2527

How were people getting hit by the same bicycle every day?

It was a vicous cycle.

2222

Why did the newborn require immediate surgery?

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

1274