Pictures:

What's the secret to a healthy heart?

Take medical advice with a grain of salt.

3255

Why did the cybercriminal stop, and get a real job?

He couldn't hack it.

2241

How much does it cost to swim with sharks?

An arm and a leg.

2217

Why was WC Fields not very popular in England?

Because of his first initials.

636

What happened to this couple just before the wedding?

They disengaged.

1086

What is the vegetable of choice for most percussionists?

Beets, of course.

1045

What did the losing coach say about his opponent after losing by 52 points?

I found them very offensive.

1774

What do you call a one-legged hippo?

A hoppo

2602

What happens when a wolf learns about mindfulness?

He becomes aware wolf.

2527

What demonstrated Rover's loyalty most?

He'd jump through hoops.

1820

why did the man make window blinds from potato peels?

He heard they were a nightshade.

373

Horses are fun to ride...

...but make terrible neigh bors.

1485