Pictures:

What is not a nice way to describe how one's vacuum cleaner works?

It sucks!

368

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

What device do psychologists use to measure positive emotions?

An Oh!dometer

840

Why do people in the Czech capital feel priviledged?

They're used to their Prague-ative.

2117

What did the mason say when he realized an error was made on a headstone?

What a grave mistake.

256

What is Santa Claus's favorite agricultural activity?

Hoe, hoe, hoe.

1542

What did Mount Rushmore look like before it was carved?

Un-presidented.

9

What do you call a bear that is manic depressive?

A bi-polar bear.

1861

Which business finds emergency replacement musicians?

Band Aid

288

Which type of vehicle transports a person to the doctor when he hurts his foot?

A toe truck.

1441

Why did Tom get fired from the kitchen hardware business?

He just couldn't handle it.

379

What is another name for a florist?

A petal pusher

509