Pictures:

Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

215

A book about basement renovation ideas?

Best Cellars

2215

Why did the mother have sore hands?

She had meta-carpools.

1064

Who invented the World Wide Web?

Spiderman!

1146

What happens to old Texas Rangers who can no longer serve?

They become de-ranged

3397

Which device measures carbohydrates?

A carburetor

841

Why should we have more appreciation for street contractors?

Because they pave the way for us.

635

How do patrons locate a Greek restaurant when their GPS isn't working?

They use a gyro scope

337

What happened to the man driving with a broken tail pipe?

He became exhausted.

828

Why are Persians good forecastors of future events?

Because they can far see (Farsi).

2237

Are those mooneshiners still in business?

They STILL are.

1787

What do you call an Arabic Elvis impersonator?

Amal Shookup

2284