Pictures:

Why do electricians monitor the news so closely?

To keep current.

239

What type of gopher is the most difficult to keep out of a celery patch?

A stalker

1444

How do billboards communicate with each other?

Sign language

206

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

What do you call an airline founded by a group of inheritors?

United Heirlines

1459

What is the study of the latest scientific breakthroughs?

Newrology

2000

Why did Alan quit his job as a probate attorney?

He didn't like putting on heirs.

816

What did the Design major do when he wasn't accepted to the program?

He went back to the drawing board.

1818

What is another name for the Stanley Cup Finals?

The Punch Bowl

231

Which type of beer takes longer to make than other beers?

Lager

705

Which fruit cannot be consumed as a single entity?

A pair

2531

How did this person respond when asked how they're doing?

Doing well, thank you.

1449