Pictures:

Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

823

What did the mother do whose son chewed on an electrical cord?

She grounded him until he conducted himself properly.

433

What's the best way to get people to listen to you?

Create a heeded discussion.

1496

Why was President Clinton elected in between Presidents George H. and George H.W.?

Because a Bill at hand is worth two in the Bush.

279

Where's a cheap option for finding certain wristwatch parts?

A second-hand store.

1433

What is the proper way to greet a hand truck?

Hello dolly!

196

What is true about this famous journalist?

His name is Mudd

1298

What are the odds that this man will slim down?

A fat chance.

380

Who represents the National Bicycle Tire Association?

Their spokesman

3208

Come Precious...it's time for dinner!

Not right meow.

2061

When would someone use fine sandpaper?

When they are off coarse.

1452

What did the family photographer say to those posing?

We'll be done in a flash.

257