Pictures:

What did the driver say when she nearly hit a fawn crossing the street?

Oh deer!

268

How did Jeff's friends realize he finished his entire "bucket list" over the weekend?

He looked pail

1464

Why is the school excavating?

They needed a level playing field.

1295

What did the mason say when he realized an error was made on a headstone?

What a grave mistake.

256

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

What position is for one working part-time overseeing an orchestra?

A semi-conductor

1210

What did Al think about his friend owning his own plumbing supply business?

It was just a pipe dream.

1301

What happens to dairy cows when they die?

They get CREAMated.

1059

What is happening here?

He's checking his bill for web service.

310

What's the proper thing to say to a friend who just bought a fancy new wine cooler?

Cool!

3173

Which doctor is best to oversee your knee surgery?

The Joint Chief of Staff

186

Which two animals have the lowest integrity?

The lyin and the cheetah.

258