Pictures:

This animal is a practical joker.

He just got his friend's goat.

1282

Why do the Polish not force their cuisine on others?

They figure it's their pierogi-tive.

333

Why was President Clinton elected in between Presidents George H. and George H.W.?

Because a Bill at hand is worth two in the Bush.

279

Come Precious...it's time for dinner!

Not right meow.

2061

How did the "Closed" sign read at the smoke shop?

Close...but no cigar!

1792

What is not a nice way to describe how one's vacuum cleaner works?

It sucks!

368

What do you call someone using a fake stun gun?

A taser teaser

329

What are the odds that this man will slim down?

A fat chance.

380

What is the official nut of schools and educators?

mACADEMIA nuts

789

Why was the whole school on pins and needles waiting for their test results?

It was an acupuncture school.

242

What's good advice when photographing celestial beings?

Be sure you get the best angel.

1027

Who was always $1 in debt?

Buck Owens

2214