What did the procrastinator tell all the people who said he'd never amount to anything?

"You just wait!"

2221

Why was the young mathematician encouraged when computing the formula of circles?

He was told it was easy as pi.

203

Which company broadcasts highlights of basketball, hockey, tennis, and soccer?

Net-flix

230

Which dog breed enjoys eating twice as much as other breeds?

The Chow Chow

1519

Why are vultures always the last ones to leave a meal?

They have a bone to pick.

184

How are the prices at the new Italian restaurant?

They cost a pretty penne.

781

Is the quantum physics theory about electrons disappearing and reappearing elsewhere really true?

That's neither here nor there.

878

What did the family photographer say to those posing?

We'll be done in a flash.

257

What happens to an ethical Italian cleaning lady after she passes away?

She's a maid in heaven.

1495

What is the man on the right doing?

Scraping the bottom of the barrel.

1302

What do mermaids use to wash their fins?

Tide

2519

What did the English actor say when asked if this image could be in England?

Yes, that's my queue.

1473