Pictures:

What do Navy cadets do to lower belly fat?

Navel exercises.

1589

What did the cop say to the driver who offered a bribe?

Fine.

1479

My friend says people think that he is egotistical.

I told him not to have his "I" out for them.

1492

What did the uninitiated tourist think when he visited here?

People were talking to the wall.

638

Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

215

What's an inefficient way to kill ants around your shrubs?

Beat around the bush.

1814

Why did the man give up Reader's Digest?

He had a digestive disorder.

1068

What was Salvador Dali's favorite breakfast?

Surreal

2372

Which vegetable is best served mashed?

Squash

1046

Why must all people grow spiritually?

It's our soul purpose.

1993

What happens if you ask your builder not to carpet the steps in your house?

He'll give you a blank stair.

1233

How did this person respond when asked how they're doing?

Doing well, thank you.

1449