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Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

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why did the man make window blinds from potato peels?

He heard they were a nightshade.

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What was Salvador Dali's favorite breakfast?

Surreal

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Where do livestock veterinarians have their prescriptions filled?

At the farmacy

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How do patrons locate a Greek restaurant when their GPS isn't working?

They use a gyro scope

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What did the losing coach say about his opponent after losing by 52 points?

I found them very offensive.

1774

How did this team win the championship?

They put up their Dukes.

1267

Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

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What did Jay say when there was an explosion at his factory?

"Let the chips fall where they may".

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How would you refer to your dog-sitting neighbor that lost your pet?

Your dog gone neighbor.

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Who represents the National Bicycle Tire Association?

Their spokesman

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Why was running to the grocery store not her first run that morning?

She first ran out of milk.

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