What's good advice when photographing celestial beings?

Be sure you get the best angel.

1027

What do people on the Keto Diet use to measure their food intake?

A carburetor

1318

What do you call someone from New England who likes to scribble?

Yankee Doodle

358

What happens if you ask your builder not to carpet the steps in your house?

He'll give you a blank stair.

1233

What do you call an airline founded by a group of inheritors?

United Heirlines

1459

Which type of gopher is the most difficult to keep out of a celery patch?

A stalker

1444

Who specializes in fixing many broken windows?

A Pane Management specialist.

758

Why did someone think this would be a balanced diet?

He was told to have 3 square meals a day.

1303

What's the name of the waiting area for mens' hair stylists?

The barber queue

2129

How did Madam Sonia become a fortune teller?

Completely by "chants"

1996

Why don't people realize when the owner of a flower shop makes fun of them?

They can't see the florist for the tease.

193

If a friend's cousin donates a kidney to a friend's cousin, what does it make the two friends?

Second cousins, once removed.

1810