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Why did the baker always make jokes about bread?

To get a rise out of people.

420

Which college shows the most compassion to fire victims?

Aw, burn University

484

Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

1350

P.T. Barnum was right...

There is a sucker born every minute.

1306

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

What did Mount Rushmore look like before it was carved?

Un-presidented.

9

Why are men more curious than women?

Because of their "why" chromosomes.

2536

Where's a cheap option for finding certain wristwatch parts?

A second-hand store.

1433

Did you hear about the lawsuit between NBA players and the league?

It was a basket case.

1271

What does Sue do all day?

Sue

1482

Why did Alan quit his job as a probate attorney?

He didn't like putting on heirs.

816

Why should we have more appreciation for street contractors?

Because they pave the way for us.

635