Pictures:

Which nut makes people sneeze?

The ca...ca...SHEW!

790

Who was the person mistaken for someone's father?

A faux pa

2261

Why did Alan quit his job as a probate attorney?

He didn't like putting on heirs.

816

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

Where does a lot of violent activity take place?

In youth hostiles

1487

Where's a cheap option for finding certain wristwatch parts?

A second-hand store.

1433

What did Mount Rushmore look like before it was carved?

Un-presidented.

9

Why was the vegetarian disappointed at the dinner party?

He thought sweetbreads came from a bakery.

754

Why was running to the grocery store not her first run that morning?

She first ran out of milk.

1091

What do we have here?

Katy barred the door.

1291

Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

1350

What is this man's motto?

"A waist is a terrible thing to waste".

306