Pictures:

Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

205

What is a required course for train designers?

Pullmonology

2005

Why did the woman remove unsightly blood vessels in her legs?

She was vein.

1069

What was the result of the vote?

Neighs won.

1486

What is a contradictory fact about this specific school?

It's off a 4 lane highway.

491

Which vegetable is best served mashed?

Squash

1046

What did the mason say when he realized an error was made on a headstone?

What a grave mistake.

256

What type of party involves guests dancing around an array of coffee tables?

A shin dig

1540

What do you call an Arabic Elvis impersonator?

Amal Shookup

2284

What are these people doing?

Driving people bananas.

1794

Why do the Polish not force their cuisine on others?

They figure it's their pierogi-tive.

333

Why is being grateful the best investment?

It always appreciates.

2159