Pictures:

What's a good career path for those with wit and a command over language?

A pundit.

1025

What occurs when the amount of garbage exceeds space in the trash can?

It is beyond the pail.

1247

This animal is a practical joker.

He just got his friend's goat.

1282

Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

205

Where can one find the best selection of ties?

Thailand

575

Why did the gardener see a dermotologist?

Because of his green thumb.

217

Why is an Achilles tendon injury so severe?

They take forever to heel.

1176

How did the Head of Engineering at MIT get his job?

By being a roads scholar

3221

Why is this the most expensive dish in the restaurant?

It's 24 carrot plated.

1044

What did the cop say to the driver who offered a bribe?

Fine.

1479

Why did the dermatologist find a new job?

He was getting rash with his patients

244

What did they say about the king who was only 12 inches tall?

He was an excellent ruler.

3209