Pictures:

Shane Ronay
General
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What do people on the Keto Diet use to measure their food intake?

A carburetor

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Shane Ronay
General
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How did the honor student ace his Political Science exam?

By being politically correct.

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Shane Ronay
General
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What do those who negotiate atomic non-proliferation treaties study?

Nuclear Medicine

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

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Shane Ronay
General
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When would someone use fine sandpaper?

When they are off coarse.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why did the Chinese military leader suffer from malnutrition?

Everyone kept eating General Tso's chicken.

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Shane Ronay
General
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What's the best way to get people to listen to you?

It's a heeded discussion.

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Shane Ronay
General
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What was the reply of the lady on the subway when a panhandler asked for a donation?

Sorry, but I'm strapped at the moment.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why did the baker receive a list of duties from his boss one at a time?

They were given on a knead to know basis.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Where do uncles find their wives?

An aunt farm

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why do the Polish not force their cuisine on others?

They figure it's their pierogi-tive.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Which dog breed is the most inherently spoiled?

Rot weilers

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