Pictures:

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

What can be said about the determination of these ladies?

They are knitty-gritty.

1299

What are "octopy"?

Pizzas topped with calamari.

2356

Why is this wild cat upset?

He was told that cheetahs never prosper.

309

Why are bananas so popular?

They have a peel.

237

Why do horses have low divorce rates?

They have stable relationships.

2218

What do you call a one-legged hippo?

A hoppo

2602

Why does a music conductor turn his back on the audience?

He must face the music.

1278

Why did the man buy so much bottled water?

There was a liquidation sale.

1026

How did the asphalt worker react to his foot being run over by a steam roller?

He was quite impressed.

582

Why do many people choose low-fat milk?

Whole milk wheys them down.

1074

What happens if certain fowl don't build insulated nests for winter?

They go cold turkey.

1276