Pictures:

What is another name for a car's complete history?

An autobiography.

173

Who was always $1 in debt?

Buck Owens

2214

Why was a homeless man invited to join the London Symphony Orchestra??

They needed someone to play an 'oboe'.

823

How did the honor student ace his Political Science exam?

By being politically correct.

221

What do you call someone with no capacity at all for gardening?

A blooming idiot.

1147

Have you heard of the band called Cellophane?

They're a wrap group.

797

Why was Fred training male deer to run fast?

To make a fast buck.

2224

Why did Jon quit his job at the marble quarry?

He was always between a rock and a hard place.

1272

Which business finds emergency replacement musicians?

Band Aid

288

Why did Stu work for the Dept. of Transportation?

He loves hitting the road.

1826

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

How did the podiatrist react to having no patients all week?

De-feeted

498