Pictures:

Why did the luxury home builder use only inexpensive laminate kitchen countertops?

He lost his marbles

216

What's the best time to create a virtual loaf of bread?

E-leaven.

1319

Which city outlawed the use of doorbells?

Knocksville, TN

2746

Which U.S. Army battalion drives up to and then crawls under barbed-wire fences?

Jeepers Creepers

213

How does a pipefitter foreman ensure his workers aren't too noisy when on jobsites?

He asks them to pipe down.

983

Why can't everyone text at the same speed?

Not everyone is the same type.

1092

How does one get men to listen?

Stress to "He'd" his words.

1483

What's another way of referring to "the middle of the ocean"?

The Marine Core

1471

What did Paul McCartney say when a hornet flew into his house and scared people?

Let it bee

1465

Why was no one able to buy more summer hats after a man just did?

That was the last straw.

191

What did the royals think about their subject's continued protests?

They thought it was revolting.

1549

Why is this the most expensive dish in the restaurant?

It's 24 carrot plated.

1044