Pictures:

What did the man's wife say when he woke up hung over, after a party?

She asked what was "ale"ing him.

706

How does one obtain a very firm crease from the dry cleaner?

Request an increase.

580

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220

Why were the homeowner's dogs silent when a burglar came and went?

They were hush puppies.

1289

How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

220

Where do livestock veterinarians have their prescriptions filled?

At the farmacy

1185

Which type of beer takes longer to make than other beers?

Lager

705

Who made outdoor tables and chairs popular in Dublin?

Paddy O'Furniture

2242

Who invented tiny nails?

A guy named Brad.

1003

My friend says people think that he is egotistical.

I told him not to have his "I" out for them.

1492

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126

Where is the Royal Rodeo held?

Buckingham palace.

1436