Pictures:

Why was the son of a drapery store owner upset when flunking out of college?

He knew it was curtains for him.

376

What can be said about the camping trip?

It was really in tents.

1259

Why was this water making high-pitched noises?

Because it was a creak.

1472

How did the honor student ace his Political Science exam?

By being politically correct.

221

Why did Alan quit his job as a probate attorney?

He didn't like putting on heirs.

816

What did the cop say to the driver who offered a bribe?

Fine.

1479

How do some people react when seeing a bee colony this large?

Thjey get the hives

1466

Who represents the National Bicycle Tire Association?

Their spokesman

3208

What is a good 2-part security method?

Beagles and locks.

2549

What is the proper way to greet the Dalai Lama?

Hello Dalai!

282

How did Jeff's friends realize he finished his entire "bucket list" over the weekend?

He looked pail

1464

Which country is most upset about gas-guzzling automobiles?

Mad at gas car

1103