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How did the wife tell her husband she was expecting triplets?

She began with a pregnant pause.

591

Who represents the National Bicycle Tire Association?

Their spokesman

3208

What did Jay say when there was an explosion at his factory?

"Let the chips fall where they may".

874

Why is the school excavating?

They needed a level playing field.

1295

What was Salvador Dali's favorite breakfast?

Surreal

2372

It has to do with the price of tea in China.

876

What happens to dairy cows when they die?

They get CREAMated.

1059

Which psychiatry specialty deals with bizarre behavior?

Off-the-wall-ogy

2002

What do you call someone using a fake stun gun?

A taser teaser

329

Why are vultures always the last ones to leave a meal?

They have a bone to pick.

184

Is this cat anything special?

Yes - it's The Cat in the Hat.

2062

Why did the man give up Reader's Digest?

He had a digestive disorder.

1068