Pictures:

Why did this guy think he'd be good at bartending?

He came from a "pour" family.

2523

What was the message on the chiropractor's answering machine?

We'll get BACK to you.

241

What happens if someone accidently drank hair coloring?

They could dye.

1475

Why did Joe use so much weather stripping?

He opposed the draft.

1819

What did Rob's wife do when he realized he'd bought a guitar missing some components?

She told him not to fret.

814

Why was the small horse limited to merely walking in a straight line?

It was a one-trick-pony.

270

Why was running to the grocery store not her first run that morning?

She first ran out of milk.

1091

A son of a gun.

330

What was the source of Bob's mortal foot injury?

He kicked the bucket.

1812

Who was the person mistaken for someone's father?

A faux pa

2261

Are those mooneshiners still in business?

They STILL are.

1787

Is this cat anything special?

Yes - it's The Cat in the Hat.

2062