Pictures:

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

Why is this bandwagon no longer in use?

Too many people were jumping on it.

1813

What is the most important thing to have when sanding wood?

True grit.

1453

Is the entire world starting to think exactly the same?

Just the indoctri-nations.

1114

Why was running to the grocery store not her first run that morning?

She first ran out of milk.

1091

What novel experience did Dan like to share with others?

His joy of reading new novels.

1088

Why was WC Fields not very popular in England?

Because of his first initials.

636

Which country is most upset about gas-guzzling automobiles?

Mad at gas car

1103

What happens if you ask your builder not to carpet the steps in your house?

He'll give you a blank stair.

1233

What are the odds that this man will slim down?

A fat chance.

380

What did the man say when he no longer needed to wear glasses?

Bye, focals!

932

What is this fooseball player in need of?

Plastic Surgery

2001