Pictures:

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

What is this man's motto?

"A waist is a terrible thing to waste".

306

Which word is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary?

Incorrectly

2223

Where was the toilet invented?

Flushing, NY

508

What's the best time to create a virtual loaf of bread?

E-leaven.

1319

Which business finds emergency replacement musicians?

Band Aid

288

What do you get when your optician is a comedian?

A man who makes a spectacle of himself.

1060

Why do courthouses attract the most audiophiles?

Because of the "hearings".

1096

What is the man on the right doing?

Scraping the bottom of the barrel from the top.

1302

Why is it that lions get more food than tigers, leopards, and jaguars?

They always get the lion's share

271

Why is voting "Nay" more direct than voting Aye"?

It's straight from the horse's mouth.

1817

Why was the small horse limited to merely walking in a straight line?

It was a one-trick-pony.

270