Pictures:

Where can one find the best selection of ties?

Thailand

575

Why was Achmed the thief unpopular with the other shepherds?

He got other people's goats.

1797

Why is this bench so comfortable?

The lumber support.

1062

Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

1350

How did the new photographer's business double in no time?

Increased exposure.

1599

Why do electricians monitor the news so closely?

To keep current.

239

What is another name for a car's complete history?

An autobiography.

173

Why was the vegetarian disappointed at the dinner party?

He thought sweetbreads came from a bakery.

754

What did the mother do whose son chewed on an electrical cord?

She grounded him until he conducted himself properly.

433

Why is lumping people together not a good practice?

Because to average them is "mean".

782

Why do the Polish not force their cuisine on others?

They figure it's their pierogi-tive.

333

Why was the nurse pleased to immunize this boy?

Because she was giving him her best shot.

1800