Pictures:

What is ironic about The Flat Earth Society?

Their members are all around the globe.

1034

What are the odds that this man will slim down?

A fat chance.

380

What do mermaids use to wash their fins?

Tide

2518

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

What did the family photographer say to those posing?

We'll be done in a flash.

257

Why were the homeowner's dogs silent when a burglar came and went?

They were hush puppies.

1289

Why do people dislike washing windows?

They're a pane.

371

Which hospital uses high-fat condiments to cure diseases?

The Mayo Clinic

1001

Which psychology specialty focuses on dealing with others?

Yourology

1999

What's the best way to eliminate vapor from your windshield?

I haven't the foggiest idea.

1775

What is true about this famous journalist?

His name is Mudd

1298

What was the source of Bob's mortal foot injury?

He kicked the bucket.

1812