Pictures:

What do you call someone with no capacity at all for gardening?

A blooming idiot.

1147

Who owns the largest number of private business aircraft?

King Lear

321

When would someone use fine sandpaper?

When they are off coarse.

1452

Why do electricians monitor the news so closely?

To keep current.

239

What sickness does one get from building too hot a fire in a ski cottage?

Cabin fever

704

How does one refer to the hallways at mental institutions?

Psycho paths.

3049

Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

1350

What type of gopher is the most difficult to keep out of a celery patch?

A stalker

1444

Why should we have more appreciation for street contractors?

Because they pave the way for us.

635

What did the sheep say to his friend who had been sheared?

Boy did you get fleeced.

1137

A picture worth a thousand words.

1269

What was the policeman's response when Bill said he was speeding to get to his yoga class?

He thought it was a stretch.

183