Pictures:

Why did the weasel go to prison?

The mink stole.

1042

How are a sanitation truck and computer similar?

Both are garbage in / garbage out

590

What are the odds that this man will slim down?

A fat chance.

380

Why did John think he had Type O blood, when he really had Type A?

His birth records had a Type O.

573

Why was the lady afraid to get her head measured at sea?

She was afraid of cap sizing.

190

Why is being grateful the best investment?

It always appreciates.

2159

Why did the cybercriminal stop, and get a real job?

He couldn't hack it.

2241

What type of tree is this?

A palm tree.

265

Why should you learn sign language?

It comes in handy.

801

What is ironic about The Flat Earth Society?

Their members are all around the globe.

1034

What is the study of vintage radios called?

Radiology

1998

What type of person uses oxygen bleach to brush his teeth?

An oxymoron

2379