Pictures:

Why is the school excavating?

They needed a level playing field.

1295

How to describe a boxer too tired to continue?

Out of whack.

637

Is basting a real stitch?

Mmm...sew-sew.

2326

Why did the gardener see a dermotologist?

Because of his green thumb.

217

Why was WC Fields not very popular in England?

Because of his first initials.

636

What happens if certain fowl don't build insulated nests for winter?

They go cold turkey.

1276

How much does it cost to swim with sharks?

An arm and a leg.

2217

Is this cat anything special?

Yes - it's The Cat in the Hat.

2062

Which doctor would you want overseeing your bacterial infection?

The Chief of Staph

187

How to properly refer to someone convicted for illegally texting?

Con-text

1093

How does one shorten a coughing fit?

Using a hack

1396

What happens to old auto mechanics?

They just re-tire.

197