Pictures:

Which fruits pair well with Chinese food?

Mandarin oranges or pears.

1052

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

What do you call a broken garbage receptacle?

A has bin.

72

Which psychiatry specialty deals with bizarre behavior?

Off-the-wall-ogy

2002

What was the policeman's response when Bill said he was speeding to get to his yoga class?

He thought it was a stretch.

183

What did the mother do whose son chewed on an electrical cord?

She grounded him until he conducted himself properly.

433

This is our new dog, Crusty.

All he does is loaf around all day.

1786

What happens to dairy cows when they die?

They get CREAMated.

1059

What is the man on the right doing?

Scraping the bottom of the barrel from the top.

1302

What are these people doing?

Driving people bananas.

1794

Why was Achmed the thief unpopular with the other shepherds?

He got other people's goats.

1797

What did the man say whose property was destroyed by a meteor?

It really left an impact.

592