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What is the largest bone on hippos?

Their hips.

1065

How would you refer to your dog-sitting neighbor that lost your pet?

Your dog gone neighbor.

1557

Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

205

How did President Johnson always know the right thing to say?

A little Birdie told him.

1136

Who was Alexander Graham Belsky?

The first telephone Pole

281

Which dog breed echoes an overly enthusiastic relative?

A Pinscher

1521

What are the strongest sea creatures?

Mussels

262

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220

Why did the soldier not want to share his rank with other people?

It was private.

1087

Which is the most proactive garden rodent?

The gofer.

1445

What happens to unsold bread from the bakery?

It's toast.

434

Why did the man visit his doctor with such tendency?

He had tendonitis.

1070