Pictures:

What did the mother do whose son chewed on an electrical cord?

She grounded him until he conducted himself properly.

433

Why do deer hunters prefer larger guns?

It's a bigger bang for their buck.

1273

Why did the newborn require immediate surgery?

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

1274

What is the proper term for a clash between snakes?

A hissy fit

219

Why don't ATM machines provide quarters?

It doesn't make cents.

2240

What did Rob's wife do when he realized he'd bought a guitar missing some components?

She told him not to fret.

814

Where is the best place to find highly unusual things?

A bizarre

293

What is the official nut of schools and educators?

mACADEMIA nuts

789

How does a pipefitter foreman ensure his workers aren't too noisy when on jobsites?

He asks them to pipe down.

983

What did Reggie name his band?

The Regimen

1115

Did you hear about the lawsuit between NBA players and the league?

It was a basket case.

1271

What items does someone most need to weather an emergency?

Staples

294