Pictures:

How do weight loss clinics refer to conversations regarding restricted foods?

Ate speech

1463

What is the proper way to greet the Dalai Lama?

Hello Dalai!

282

Why did the foolish prospector think the goldmine was his?

There was a sign outside it that said "Mine".

1083

What happened to the circus performer who swallowed a wood file?

He got a raspy voice.

1006

Why are bakery employees so nice to their customers?

They know where their bread is buttered.

435

What did the man say whose property was destroyed by a meteor?

It really left an impact.

592

What do we have here?

Katy barred the door.

1291

Why was Achmed the thief unpopular with the other shepherds?

He got other people's goats.

1797

This animal is a practical joker.

He just got his friend's goat.

1282

Is the quantum physics theory about electrons disappearing and reappearing elsewhere really true?

That's neither here nor there.

878

Why did the weight-loss clinic hire a dermotologist?

To make people skinny.

1816

Why do deer hunters prefer larger guns?

It's a bigger bang for their buck.

1273