Pictures:

Why did the luxury home builder use only inexpensive laminate kitchen countertops?

He lost his marbles

216

Why is an Achilles tendon injury so severe?

They take forever to heel.

1176

Which psychiatry specialty deals with bizarre behavior?

Off-the-wall-ogy

2002

Why did the cinnamon havester quit his job?

He kept barking up the wrong tree.

1796

How do you make a waterbed more bouncy?

Use spring water.

3111

What is as important as a good watch dog?

A good CAT scan

284

A son of a gun.

330

How do mountain goats seem to defy gravity on steep slopes?

They use cliffhangers.

1113

Is this cat anything special?

Yes - it's The Cat in the Hat.

2062

Is the entire world starting to think exactly the same?

Just the indoctri-nations.

1114

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126

Why did the weight-loss clinic hire a dermotologist?

To make people skinny.

1816