Pictures:

How did President Johnson always know the right thing to say?

A little Birdie told him.

1136

Why is this wild cat upset?

He was told that cheetahs never prosper.

309

What's another way of referring to "the middle of the ocean"?

The Marine Core

1471

Why was Achmed the thief unpopular with the other shepherds?

He got other people's goats.

1797

Why did the general always have his walking stick with him?

He never made decisions without his staff.

1923

Which part of the world do people contract mild forms of amnesia?

Micronesia

1104

How do you make a waterbed more bouncy?

Use spring water.

3111

Why is this the most expensive dish in the restaurant?

It's 24 carrot plated.

1044

What is a risk of driving an electric car?

Being charged with battery.

1789

What is 100-proof Wild Turkey?

Seeing a wild turkey with your own eyes.

1799

Which dog breed enjoys eating twice as much as other breeds?

The Chow Chow

1519

What course does a punster take to go from making bad to good puns?

End o'cringe-ology

2004