Pictures:

How did the squirrel corner the market on acorns?

He opened many branches.

182

What's the biggest myth about this school?

That it's a Mens Only college (boys).

490

Why is wine part of religious ceremonies?

Because it's De' vine.

1702

What diagnosis caused the man to break his leg by being too anxious?

A stress fracture

296

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

Why are Persians good forecastors of future events?

Because they can far see (Farsi).

2237

Why do dessert lovers like this airline?

They serve pie in the sky.

1300

Come Precious...it's time for dinner!

Not right meow.

2061

Does the manufacturer make much money from selling these?

Nah, they make peanuts.

1338

Why do some people seem to find things out before others?

They're member of the heard.

1491

Did this school receive its name on purpose?

No, by occident.

487

How long must one walk a dog that lives indoors?

Until they're pooped.

2548