Pictures:

How would you refer to your dog-sitting neighbor that lost your pet?

Your dog gone neighbor.

1557

What is another name for a florist?

A petal pusher

509

What happened to the man driving with a broken tail pipe?

He became exhausted.

828

What is this fooseball player in need of?

Plastic Surgery

2001

Do allergists make a good living?

It's nothing to sneeze at.

243

How to refer to someone who suddenly became a grandmother?

An Instagram

2489

A picture worth a thousand words.

1269

How much does a teenager weigh?

An Instagram.

796

Why did the flock of unshorn sheep keep bumping into each other?

They had the wool over their eyes

222

What is not a nice way to describe how one's vacuum cleaner works?

It sucks!

368

What is a good 2-part security method?

Beagles and locks.

2549

Why did the writer visit the U.S. Mint?

To coin a phrase.

199