Pictures:

Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

574

Why did John think he had Type O blood, when he really had Type A?

His birth records had a Type O.

573

Which U.S. Army battalion drives up to and then crawls under barbed-wire fences?

Jeepers Creepers

213

What is the official nut of schools and educators?

mACADEMIA nuts

789

How was the woman able to remember to buy a new pail?

It was on her bucket list.

201

What is the man on the right doing?

Scraping the bottom of the barrel from the top.

1302

How to properly refer to someone convicted for illegally texting?

Con-text

1093

What is happening here?

He's checking his bill for web service.

310

Where can one find the best selection of ties?

Thailand

575

Why did the Chinese military leader suffer from malnutrition?

Everyone kept eating General Tso's chicken.

335

Why don't gluten-free people consume wheat?

It goes against their grain.

436

What are mens' favorite legume?

Chick peas

683