Pictures:

What is this fooseball player in need of?

Plastic Surgery

2001

Why was Fred training male deer to run fast?

To make a fast buck.

2224

Why did this guy think he'd be good at bartending?

He came from a "pour" family.

2523

Is basting a real stitch?

Mmm...sew-sew.

2326

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

What do you call the owner of a curtain ring company?

The ringleader

378

Why did the cybercriminal stop, and get a real job?

He couldn't hack it.

2241

Which horse did the cowboy only ride after dark?

A night mare

189

Why did the dermatologist find a new job?

He was getting rash with his patients

244

Why is this bench so comfortable?

The lumber support.

1062

Where's the best place to shop in order to escape?

A flee market

297

What did the mason say when he realized an error was made on a headstone?

What a grave mistake.

256