Pictures:

How did this farmer increase his bottom line?

He added a new machine to cut celeries.

1806

What was the first name of the woman who invented soft drinks, and where did she live?

Sarah soda

419

Which city do the inhabitants rarely need an alarm clock?

Waco, Texas

421

Why is being grateful the best investment?

It always appreciates.

2159

How did the "Closed" sign read at the smoke shop?

Close...but no cigar!

1792

Where do mathematicians go on vacation?

Times Square

1434

What's he doing?

Flying by the seat of his pants.

1281

Where does one go to purchase unmovable objects?

A stationery store

295

Which window specialty focuses on commercial accounts?

Pane Management specialists.

758

What's a good marketing tagline for Budweiser?

Taste Buds!

1073

What are these?

Cocoa Nuts

2665

Why did astrophysicist Steven Hawking fail his history class?

It wasn't rocket science.

1262