Pictures:

Shane Ronay
General
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Was the snack food factory worker hurt when the machine exploded?

No, but had a chip on his shoulder.

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Shane Ronay
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What type of shop specializes in watch components that are accurate up to the minute?

A second-hand store.

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Shane Ronay
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What are the options in making it to shore?

Row oar swim.

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Shane Ronay
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What was the result of the vote?

Neighs won.

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Shane Ronay
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Why do we use the term "rode" once we've ridden?

We've been down that road before.

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Shane Ronay
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Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

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Shane Ronay
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What did the mason say when he realized an error was made on a headstone?

What a grave mistake.

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Shane Ronay
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Horses are fun to ride...

...but make terrible neigh bors.

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Shane Ronay
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What do you call someone with no capacity at all for gardening?

A blooming idiot.

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Shane Ronay
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Which dog breed enjoys a traditional Jewish breakfast?

Beagles

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Shane Ronay
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Which U.S. Army battalion drives up to and then crawls under barbed-wire fences?

Jeepers Creepers

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Shane Ronay
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Why did the baker receive a list of duties from his boss one at a time?

They were given on a knead to know basis.

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