Pictures:

Was the snack food factory worker hurt when the machine exploded?

No, but had a chip on his shoulder.

1815

What type of shop specializes in watch components that are accurate up to the minute?

A second-hand store.

707

What are the options in making it to shore?

Row oar swim.

1500

What was the result of the vote?

Neighs won.

1486

Why do we use the term "rode" once we've ridden?

We've been down that road before.

1094

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

What did the mason say when he realized an error was made on a headstone?

What a grave mistake.

256

Horses are fun to ride...

...but make terrible neigh bors.

1485

What do you call someone with no capacity at all for gardening?

A blooming idiot.

1147

Which dog breed enjoys a traditional Jewish breakfast?

Beagles

1520

Which U.S. Army battalion drives up to and then crawls under barbed-wire fences?

Jeepers Creepers

213

Why did the baker receive a list of duties from his boss one at a time?

They were given on a knead to know basis.

1497