Pictures:

Why do electricians monitor the news so closely?

To keep current.

239

Why did the cinnamon havester quit his job?

He kept barking up the wrong tree.

1796

Why did the pastry chef cut her chocolate cake at such sharp angles?

She wanted Brownie points

211

Why did the woman remove unsightly blood vessels in her legs?

She was vein.

1069

How was a comedian asked to perform at the Orthopedist's Convention?

Please...humerus.

1077

What happened to the circus performer who swallowed a wood file?

He got a raspy voice.

1006

Why don't ATM machines provide quarters?

It doesn't make cents.

2240

Why did Sunil move away from Delhi?

He found it full of baloney.

1078

Why did the weasel go to prison?

The mink stole.

1042

What happens to old Texas Rangers who can no longer serve?

They become de-ranged

3397

Which city outlawed the use of doorbells?

Knocksville, TN

2746

Why was no one able to buy more summer hats after a man just did?

That was the last straw.

191