Pictures:

Why did the man buy so much bottled water?

There was a liquidation sale.

1026

How did this person respond when asked how they're doing?

Doing well, thank you.

1449

What was the result of Rick building a successful sunglasses business?

He had it made in the shades.

414

What are the options in making it to shore?

Row oar swim.

1500

What is this university's sister-school?

Death Valley Tech.

489

Did this school receive its name on purpose?

No, by occident.

487

How did the honor student fail his Logic course?

He was being unreasonable.

291

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

A 5 o'clock shadow.

1280

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

How do you know if a commercial zip line is safe?

It complies with the Zip Code.

812