Pictures:

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

How is your mother's annoying baby sister similar to a city in Western Europe?

They're both aunt twerps.

1397

What type of shop specializes in watch components that are accurate up to the minute?

A second-hand store.

707

Why do people in the Czech capital feel priviledged?

They're used to their Prague-ative.

2117

Why do some of these specific instruments look different from the others?

They're members of the opposite sax.

826

How did President Johnson always know the right thing to say?

A little Birdie told him.

1136

What happens to dairy cows when they die?

They get CREAMated.

1059

What can be said about the camping trip?

It was really in tents.

1259

How do authorities in England express their appreciation for the public maintaining orderly lines?

They say, "ThanQueue

545

What factors have helped Amazon retain repeat business?

Free Shipping and Auto-Ordering are two Prime examples.

278

This animal is a practical joker.

He just got his friend's goat.

1282

What is ironic about The Flat Earth Society?

Their members are all around the globe.

1034