Pictures:

What device do psychologists use to measure positive emotions?

An Oh!dometer

840

How did Jeff's friends realize he finished his entire "bucket list" over the weekend?

He looked pail

1464

Why is it that lions get more food than tigers, leopards, and jaguars?

They always get the lion's share

271

What's involved with cloud seeding?

It's just shooting the breeze.

1264

What's the secret to a healthy heart?

Take medical advice with a grain of salt.

3255

What type of person uses oxygen bleach to brush his teeth?

An oxymoron

2379

What did two male siblings name their soup business?

Broth-ers

2268

How do authorities in England express their appreciation for the public maintaining orderly lines?

They say, "ThanQueue

545

Why do courthouses attract the most audiophiles?

Because of the "hearings".

1096

What did the sheep say to his friend who had been sheared?

Boy did you get fleeced.

1137

Why did Stu work for the Dept. of Transportation?

He loves hitting the road.

1826

What happened to the fireman who fought fire with fire?

He got fired.

1405