Pictures:

Which device measures carbohydrates?

A carburetor

841

What course does a punster take to go from making bad to good puns?

End o'cringe-ology

2004

What's the best way to get people to listen to you?

Create a heeded discussion.

1496

Why do some of these specific instruments look different from the others?

They're members of the opposite sax.

826

Which martial art was this rabbi most proficient at?

Jew-Jitsu

413

How was the octopus able beat the shark in a fight?

It was well armed.

795

Why is lumping people together not a good practice?

Because to average them is "mean".

782

What did the uninitiated tourist think when he visited here?

People were talking to the wall.

638

When would someone use fine sandpaper?

When they are off coarse.

1452

My friend says people think that he is egotistical.

I told him not to have his "I" out for them.

1492

What is true about most of the of fish in Paris?

They are in Seine

77

Which medical specialty focuses on interior design for hospitals?

Roomitology

1317