Pictures:

Why is rationalizing worse than we think?

It uses rational lies.

240

Why do dessert lovers like this airline?

They serve pie in the sky.

1300

What is a punster's favorite vegetable?

Corn (you knew that).

1047

Why did Alan quit his job as a probate attorney?

He didn't like putting on heirs.

816

Why did Jon quit his job at the marble quarry?

He was always between a rock and a hard place.

1272

What is one advantage of being indecisive?

Having the benefit of the doubt.

1821

Why was Len's music career over before it began?

He was asked to return with a demo.

1827

Why did the man visit his doctor with such tendency?

He had tendonitis.

1070

Who represents the National Bicycle Tire Association?

Their spokesman

3208

How is he trying to lose weight by wearing bread on his head?

It's a new loaf hat diet.

1351

What is 100-proof Wild Turkey?

Seeing a wild turkey with your own eyes.

1799

What is the vegetable of choice for most percussionists?

Beets, of course.

1045