Pictures:

What do you call a one-legged hippo?

A hoppo

2602

Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

205

Come Precious...it's time for dinner!

Not right meow.

2061

What was the policeman's response when Bill said he was speeding to get to his yoga class?

He thought it was a stretch.

183

What do you call robins enjoying the sun?

Basking robbins.

1721

What's an inefficient way to kill ants around your shrubs?

Beat around the bush.

1814

Do people in the UK use common sense?

No, the common pence.

283

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

How did Phil become such an expert at bumper cars?

He took a crash course.

868

Why do some major in Hospitality Management?

To learn the inns and outs of the subject.

1494

Why do some people love bowling?

It's right up their alley.

1263

A son of a gun.

330