Pictures:

What is another name for a florist?

A petal pusher

509

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

Which two animals have the lowest integrity?

The lyin and the cheetah.

258

How do weight loss clinics refer to conversations regarding restricted foods?

Ate speech

1463

What is ironic about The Flat Earth Society?

Their members are all around the globe.

1034

Is basting a real stitch?

Mmm...sew-sew.

2326

Why did John think he had Type O blood, when he really had Type A?

His birth records had a Type O.

573

How did the honor student fail his Logic course?

He was being unreasonable.

291

What is someone called who cleans vacuum cleaners?

A vacuum cleaner.

367

How did the honor student ace his Political Science exam?

By being politically correct.

221

How did the wife tell her husband she was expecting triplets?

She began with a pregnant pause.

591

What's the most dangerous thing to read in Braille?

DO NOT TOUCH!

1223