Pictures:

Why did the writer visit the U.S. Mint?

To coin a phrase.

199

Which doctor is best to oversee your knee surgery?

The Joint Chief of Staff

186

What do you call a broken garbage receptacle?

A has bin.

72

Why is the school excavating?

They needed a level playing field.

1295

What does it take to be a great telemarketer?

Focus. You must be dialed-in.

1571

Which prison's glee club repeats the lyrics of each song?

Sing Sing.

1558

Why do 95% of bald people still own a comb?

They can't part with it.

2221

How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

1035

What is this optician doing?

He's seeing eye to eye with his patient.

1793

How are making puns similar to oil drilling?

They both can be crude or refined.

2136

Which vegetable is best served mashed?

Squash

1046

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126