Pictures:

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

Where do gardeners love to shop?

Bloomingdales

1148

Why was the plumber scared to unclog bathroom sinks?

It was always a hair-raising experience.

1024

What diagnosis caused the man to break his leg by being too anxious?

A stress fracture

296

Why did Jon quit his job at the marble quarry?

He was always between a rock and a hard place.

1272

What do you call a sick lawyer?

ill legal.

1432

Why was the girl so upset to have to repeat her class?

She felt degraded.

596

What is the motto of the Gluten Intolerance Association?

The Pain of Grain Makes us Mainly Abstain.

235

What course does a punster take to go from making bad to good puns?

End o'cringe-ology

2004

Joseph Glidden invented the modern security fence. Who was his wife?

Barb

1153

What do auto mechanics call their rest periods?

Coffee brakes.

1451

Why do some major in Hospitality Management?

To learn the inns and outs of the subject.

1494