Pictures:

Where's a cheap option for finding certain wristwatch parts?

A second-hand store.

1433

What is this fooseball player in need of?

Plastic Surgery

2001

Why did the general always have his walking stick with him?

He never made decisions without his staff.

1923

What did the man's wife say when he woke up hung over, after a party?

She asked what was "ale"ing him.

706

Why was the son of a drapery store owner upset when flunking out of college?

He knew it was curtains for him.

376

Why did the priest act so differently in church?

It was his altar ego

1460

What position is for one working part-time overseeing an orchestra?

A semi-conductor

1210

Which two animals have the lowest integrity?

The lyin and the cheetah.

258

What is the key to "flipping" houses?

Heavy leverage

2386

Which type of realtor focuses only on promoting people's basements?

A celler's agent.

1442

Which fruit has a Y chromosome?

BOYSenberries

1051

What is another name for the Stanley Cup Finals?

The Punch Bowl

231