Pictures:

What is the vegetable of choice for most percussionists?

Beets, of course.

1045

This is our new dog, Crusty.

All he does is loaf around all day.

1786

Why do electricians monitor the news so closely?

To keep current.

239

Why did Bill not become a gastroenterologist?

He didn't have the guts.

2018

How did the "Closed" sign read at the smoke shop?

Close...but no cigar!

1792

Why did one man leave the card playing group of his wife's friends?

He needed to "de-talks".

506

Why do dessert lovers like this airline?

They serve pie in the sky.

1300

What's good about having a one-track mind?

You don't easily go off the rails.

1175

Why did the man travel to India for a corned beef sandwich?

He heard they had a new Delhi.

292

What's a good name for a plumbing company?

In Sink

981

What type of shop specializes in watch components that are accurate up to the minute?

A second-hand store.

707

What are the strongest sea creatures?

Mussels

262