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What type of person uses oxygen bleach to brush his teeth?

An oxymoron

2379

Why was was it so loud everywhere Tim went?

He liked stealing everyone's thunder.

1320

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220

What was the result of the vote?

Neighs won.

1486

Where are these people located?

In La-la Land.

1294

My friend says people think that he is egotistical.

I told him not to have his "I" out for them.

1492

What is the study of focusing on others called?

Yourology

1116

Why do deer hunters prefer larger guns?

It's a bigger bang for their buck.

1273

What were the Smiths not concerned with?

Keeping up with the Joneses.

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What are these soldiers doing?

Trying to keep their chin-ups.

1292

What do you call someone using a fake stun gun?

A taser teaser

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Are those mooneshiners still in business?

They STILL are.

1787