Pictures:

What happened on April 16th and 17th 1986?

This man got his dates mixed up.

1085

Why was the vegetarian disappointed at the dinner party?

He thought sweetbreads came from a bakery.

754

Why did the telemarketer use his clavicle to rest his headset?

Because that's his caller bone.

1063

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

How do you know if a commercial zip line is safe?

It complies with the Zip Code.

812

What is a good chili recipe?

Go outside without a coat.

1470

What happened when the drummer rejoined the marching band?

There were repercussions.

1257

My friend moved to Helsinki, but couldn't fit in.

He found it hard to Finnish anything.

1478

Why do horses have low divorce rates?

They have stable relationships.

2218

Which type of realtor focuses only on promoting people's basements?

A celler's agent.

1442

What's the most prevalent sickness among roofers?

Shingles

192

Why did Tom get fired from the kitchen hardware business?

He just couldn't handle it.

379