Pictures:

Why did the writer visit the U.S. Mint?

To coin a phrase.

199

Why do most adults stop enjoying puns once they get older?

They become groan-ups.

223

Why is a Phillips-head screwdriver so popular?

People see it as a plus.

1403

What happens if someone accidently drank hair coloring?

They could dye.

1475

How are acute infections treated?

Doctors say, "Awwww" and give the patient a hug.

1839

Why is voting "Nay" more direct than voting Aye"?

It's straight from the horse's mouth.

1817

Why should you learn sign language?

It comes in handy.

801

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

What sickness does one get from building too hot a fire in a ski cottage?

Cabin fever

704

I know the capitals of all 50 States.

For instance, Montana starts with a capital "M".

1431

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

Which king was this?

Edward IV - he had a short reign.

877