Pictures:

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

What did the driver say when she nearly hit a fawn crossing the street?

Oh deer!

268

Why did Stu work for the Dept. of Transportation?

He loves hitting the road.

1826

What did the mother do whose son chewed on an electrical cord?

She grounded him until he conducted himself properly.

433

Why did this guy think he'd be good at bartending?

He came from a "pour" family.

2523

If Fairly Dickinson University provides undergraduate degrees, what is their graduate school called?

Very Dickinson

483

How does appreciation show one's intelligence?

You're a great fool if your not grate ful.

2243

Where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market

794

What is this optician doing?

He's seeing eye to eye with his patient.

1793

What is another name for a florist?

A petal pusher

509

What's the most serious bone in the body?

The sternum

1066

How do billboards communicate with each other?

Sign language

206