Pictures:

Why was this man being treated intervenously?

He had severe poison i.v.

884

Why is the school excavating?

They needed a level playing field.

1295

Why was running to the grocery store not her first run that morning?

She first ran out of milk.

1091

Why did J.K. Rowling stop writing Harry Potter books after book 7?

That's all she wrote.

1305

What do you call someone using a fake stun gun?

A taser teaser

329

Do allergists make a good living?

It's nothing to sneeze at.

243

What's the most prevalent sickness among roofers?

Shingles

192

How do you make a waterbed more bouncy?

Use spring water.

3111

Do professional golfers practice for all 19 holes?

Of course.

1454

How long must one walk a dog that lives indoors?

Until they're pooped.

2548

What is a good 2-part security method?

Beagles and locks.

2549

What's the best way to eliminate vapor from your windshield?

I haven't the foggiest idea.

1775