Pictures:

What do you call the top 2 Chinese translators?

The Co-Mandarin Chiefs

73

How does appreciation show one's intelligence?

You're a great fool if your not grate ful.

2243

Why did this guy think he'd be good at bartending?

He came from a "pour" family.

2523

Why did Bill order these to wear himself?

He's trying to lose weight through resistance-training.

1514

Where do gardeners love to shop?

Bloomingdales

1148

How are the prices at the new Italian restaurant?

They cost a pretty penne.

781

Which hospital uses high-fat condiments to cure diseases?

The Mayo Clinic

1001

P.T. Barnum was right...

There is a sucker born every minute.

1306

Where did the name "Turks and Caicos" come from?

Someone couldn't pronounce "turquoise".

1915

What are these soldiers doing?

Trying to keep their chin-ups.

1292

Why is this wild cat upset?

He was told that cheetahs never prosper.

309

Why did astrophysicist Steven Hawking fail his history class?

It wasn't rocket science.

1262