Pictures:

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

Where do mathematicians go on vacation?

Times Square

1434

How does a butcher greet his customers?

Nice to meat you!

195

Why do horses have low divorce rates?

They have stable relationships.

2218

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

Prime mates

3222

What is the key to "flipping" houses?

Heavy leverage

2386

Why can't everyone text at the same speed?

Not everyone is the same type.

1092

What do you call someone who loves displaying their mink coat?

A show fur.

3254

What are the strongest sea creatures?

Mussels

262

What do we have here?

Katy barred the door.

1291

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126

What is someone called who sees a crime committed at an Apple store?

An iWitness

1240