Pictures:

What do you get when your optician is a comedian?

A man who makes a spectacle of himself.

1060

How did the wife tell her husband she was expecting triplets?

She began with a pregnant pause.

591

Why does this horse always give leg cramps to its riders?

His name is Charley.

1275

Why was the young mathematician encouraged when computing the formula of circles?

He was told it was easy as pi.

203

Why should you never scream into one of these?

You'll strain your voice.

1239

What does an audio engineer do?

Provide sound advice.

1389

How does a butcher greet his customers?

Nice to meat you!

195

Is the entire world starting to think exactly the same?

Just the indoctri-nations.

1114

Is this cat anything special?

Yes - it's The Cat in the Hat.

2062

Why was no one able to buy more summer hats after a man just did?

That was the last straw.

191

What's the proper thing to say to a friend who just bought a fancy new wine cooler?

Cool!

3173

Why did Stu work for the Dept. of Transportation?

He loves hitting the road.

1826