Pictures:

Why did the Chinese military leader suffer from malnutrition?

Everyone kept eating General Tso's chicken.

335

What type of gopher is the most difficult to keep out of a celery patch?

A stalker

1444

Why must all people grow spiritually?

It's our soul purpose.

1993

How were people getting hit by the same bicycle every day?

It was a vicous cycle.

2222

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

What are the options in making it to shore?

Row oar swim.

1500

How did we know the Russian musician would be a good match for the ballet dancer?

Because he played the ballet lika.

815

Do people in the UK use common sense?

No, the common pence.

283

The new movie about RVs should be a good one.

I saw the trailer.

1404

What is this man doing?

He's "piering" down

1504

Which business finds emergency replacement musicians?

Band Aid

288

What is the man on the right doing?

Scraping the bottom of the barrel from the top.

1302