Pictures:

What is the official nut of schools and educators?

mACADEMIA nuts

789

How did the podiatrist react to having no patients all week?

De-feeted

498

What happens when parents from Asia spin their children?

They become dis-Oriented

2316

How was the rabbit rewarded for keeping mice out of the garden?

With an increase in celery.

1443

Why were the homeowner's dogs silent when a burglar came and went?

They were hush puppies.

1289

Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

205

What do you call the owner of a curtain ring company?

The ringleader

378

Which division of a hospital has the best patient supervision?

The "I see you" (ICU)

1007

What are these people doing?

Driving people bananas.

1794

Why is a Phillips-head screwdriver so popular?

People see it as a plus.

1403

Why was WC Fields not very popular in England?

Because of his first initials.

636

This is our new dog, Crusty.

All he does is loaf around all day.

1786