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What happened to the circus performer who swallowed a wood file?

He got a raspy voice.

1006

What sickness does one get from building too hot a fire in a ski cottage?

Cabin fever

704

What is another name for a car's complete history?

An autobiography.

173

Why do 95% of bald people still own a comb?

They can't part with it.

2221

What items does someone most need to weather an emergency?

Staples

294

Who represents the National Bicycle Tire Association?

Their spokesman

3208

Why do UN ambassadors stay so healthy?

Diplomatic Immunity

2956

Does the manufacturer make much money from selling these?

Nah, they make peanuts.

1338

Who was Alexander Graham Belsky?

The first telephone Pole

281

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

Why did Debra Smith come up with exactly 1,263 famous idioms?

That's all she wrote.

1791

Which sea creature is not friendly to other sea creatures?

Anemone

261