Pictures:

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

Why do some of these specific instruments look different from the others?

They're members of the opposite sax.

826

Why did Debra Smith come up with exactly 1,263 famous idioms?

That's all she wrote.

1791

How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

1035

If it's bad to overbake a cake, what if you underbake it?

Then it's batter.

1992

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

What do you call a sick lawyer?

ill legal.

1432

Which martial art was this rabbi most proficient at?

Jew-Jitsu

413

What do you call a one-legged hippo?

A hoppo

2602

What was the result of the vote?

Neighs won.

1486

What's happening here?

A cargo ship is trying to contain itself.

1503

What type of meeting is this?

A Piece Summit.

1455