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What do you call the top 2 Chinese translators?

The Co-Mandarin Chiefs

73

Why should you never scream into one of these?

You'll strain your voice.

1239

How did President Johnson always know the right thing to say?

A little Birdie told him.

1136

Joseph Glidden invented the modern security fence. Who was his wife?

Barb

1153

Why are men more curious than women?

Because of their "why" chromosomes.

2536

Did you hear about the lawsuit between NBA players and the league?

It was a basket case.

1271

Why did the Mexican man take anti-anxiety medication?

For hispanic attacks.

431

What type of person uses oxygen bleach to brush his teeth?

An oxymoron

2379

What is someone called who sees a crime committed at an Apple store?

An iWitness

1240

What did the man say when he no longer needed to wear glasses?

Bye, focals!

932

Is the quantum physics theory about electrons disappearing and reappearing elsewhere really true?

That's neither here nor there.

878

Who invented tiny nails?

A guy named Brad.

1003