Pictures:

Why did the writer visit the U.S. Mint?

To coin a phrase.

199

What did Larry name his new ink and toner business?

Ink, Inc.

415

How was the octopus able beat the shark in a fight?

It was well armed.

795

What course does a punster take to go from making bad to good puns?

End o'cringe-ology

2004

What do you call a sick lawyer?

ill legal.

1432

Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

574

What's a good marketing tagline for Budweiser?

Taste Buds!

1073

What do mermaids use to wash their fins?

Tide

2518

Is this cat anything special?

Yes - it's The Cat in the Hat.

2062

What do you call a pig who lost his voice?

Disgruntled

1229

Which is the most proactive garden rodent?

The gofer.

1445

What happens when King Charles has a bad dream?

It's a royal nightmare.

1509