Pictures:

Why did the weight-loss clinic hire a dermotologist?

To make people skinny.

1816

How is your mother's annoying baby sister similar to a city in Western Europe?

They're both aunt twerps.

1397

What happened on April 16th and 17th 1986?

This man got his dates mixed up.

1085

How are the prices at the new Italian restaurant?

They cost a pretty penne.

781

What did the mason say when he realized an error was made on a headstone?

What a grave mistake.

256

What's a good marketing tagline for Budweiser?

Taste Buds!

1073

Where does a lot of violent activity take place?

In youth hostiles

1487

Which medical specialty is best for focusing on others?

Your ology

756

Why are vultures always the last ones to leave a meal?

They have a bone to pick.

184

Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

1350

What is this fooseball player in need of?

Plastic Surgery

2001

Which Einstein idea concerns family relations?

The Theory of Relativity.

1541