Pictures:

Why did the woman remove unsightly blood vessels in her legs?

She was vein.

1069

Why is a Phillips-head screwdriver so popular?

People see it as a plus.

1403

Come Precious...it's time for dinner!

Not right meow.

2061

Why wasn't the student's cousin able to pick her up from school?

It wasn't a pparent.

2327

What does an audio engineer do?

Provide sound advice.

1389

What did the cop say to the driver who offered a bribe?

Fine.

1479

Why are there so many types of Asian cuisine?

For different woks of life.

1287

What's a good name for an herbal brew business?

Special Teas

343

What did the cemetery director say when a man bought one grave, and then another for his wife?

"Hmm...the plot thickens!"

255

How does the chief groundskeeper raise the flag in front of Yankee Stadium?

He uses his staff.

228

What is the proper way to greet a hand truck?

Hello dolly!

196

Why did Jon quit his job at the marble quarry?

He was always between a rock and a hard place.

1272