Pictures:

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

Prime mates

3222

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

Did this school receive its name on purpose?

No, by occident.

487

How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

1035

What's going on here?

The cat is practically out of the bag.

273

Where in Manhattan are you most likely to find a spot for your car?

Central Park

1089

What is Santa Claus's favorite agricultural activity?

Hoe, hoe, hoe.

1542

How were people getting hit by the same bicycle every day?

It was a vicous cycle.

2222

Why did astrophysicist Steven Hawking fail his history class?

It wasn't rocket science.

1262

What sickness does one get from building too hot a fire in a ski cottage?

Cabin fever

704

What do you call someone who loves displaying their mink coat?

A show fur.

3254

How to refer to someone who suddenly became a grandmother?

An Instagram

2489