What is the man on the right doing?

Scraping the bottom of the barrel.

1302

How did the squirrel corner the market on acorns?

He opened many branches.

182

Why are trombone players usually easy going people?

They've learned to let things slide.

827

What is this fooseball player in need of?

Plastic Surgery

2001

Why was running to the grocery store not her first run that morning?

She first ran out of milk.

1091

What happens to old auto mechanics?

They just re-tire.

197

What's going on here?

A feeding friendsy.

1279

What would you call one of these owned by several people?

An OUR Glass

1501

Why did this guy think he'd be good at bartending?

He came from a "pour" family.

2524

Did Steve really buy this antique violin for only $5?

Yes, and with no strings attached!

813

What's the name of the lady who owns the Japanese restaurant?

Sue, she.

339

Which doctor would you want overseeing your bacterial infection?

The Chief of Staph

187