Pictures:

P.T. Barnum was right...

There is a sucker born every minute.

1306

What happened when a jar of pickles spilled onto music sheets?

It made sour notes.

690

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

Picasso painted over 50,000 works. What type of painter was he?

A surreal (serial) painter

401

Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

574

What are abortions called in Czechoslovakia?

Cancelled Czechs

2116

Which country has the most virologists and epidemiologists?

Germ any

1101

Who invented tiny nails?

A guy named Brad.

1003

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

How does one obtain a very firm crease from the dry cleaner?

Request an increase.

580

How is your mother's annoying baby sister similar to a city in Western Europe?

They're both aunt twerps.

1397

What happened to the fireman who fought fire with fire?

He got fired.

1405