Pictures:

What is as important as a good watch dog?

A good CAT scan

284

Why is the school excavating?

They needed a level playing field.

1295

Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

574

What happens when a hit ball that collides with a bird?

It's ruled a fowl ball

898

Which dog breed is the most inherently spoiled?

Rot weilers

1518

Where was the toilet invented?

Flushing, NY

508

Why is rationalizing worse than we think?

It uses rational lies.

240

Why did the man buy so much bottled water?

There was a liquidation sale.

1026

Which country is most upset about gas-guzzling automobiles?

Mad at gas car

1103

How is your mother's annoying baby sister similar to a city in Western Europe?

They're both aunt twerps.

1397

Which doctor is best to oversee your knee surgery?

The Joint Chief of Staff

186

Why did the Chinese military leader suffer from malnutrition?

Everyone kept eating General Tso's chicken.

335