Pictures:

Why did John think he had Type O blood, when he really had Type A?

His birth records had a Type O.

573

What is the status of one's yard after cleaning up after the dog?

It's dooty-free.

1009

How did guests know chili would be the main course?

Somebody spilled the beans.

1822

How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

1035

How to people from this country justify where they were born?

They must Peruv it.

1209

What did Reggie name his band?

The Regimen

1115

Why did the mother have sore hands?

She had meta-carpools.

1064

Why did the man visit his doctor with such tendency?

He had tendonitis.

1070

What did Al think about his friend owning his own plumbing supply business?

It was just a pipe dream.

1301

Which U.S. city do people have the hardest time losing weight?

Gainesville, FL

422

What are the odds that this man will slim down?

A fat chance.

380

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372