Pictures:

Shane Ronay
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Why did the writer visit the U.S. Mint?

To coin a phrase.

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Shane Ronay
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Why do most adults stop enjoying puns once they get older?

They become groan-ups.

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Shane Ronay
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Why is a Phillips-head screwdriver so popular?

People see it as a plus.

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Shane Ronay
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What happens if someone accidently drank hair coloring?

They could dye.

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Shane Ronay
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How are acute infections treated?

Doctors say, "Awwww" and give the patient a hug.

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Shane Ronay
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Why is voting "Nay" more direct than voting Aye"?

It's straight from the horse's mouth.

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Shane Ronay
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Why should you learn sign language?

It comes in handy.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

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Shane Ronay
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What sickness does one get from building too hot a fire in a ski cottage?

Cabin fever

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Shane Ronay
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I know the capitals of all 50 States.

For instance, Montana starts with a capital "M".

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Shane Ronay
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How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

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Shane Ronay
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Which king was this?

Edward IV - he had a short reign.

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