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Why was the son of a drapery store owner upset when flunking out of college?

He knew it was curtains for him.

376

Which word is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary?

Incorrectly

2223

What does the NLRB do?

They oversee support groups for expectant mothers.

2586

What do auto mechanics call their rest periods?

Coffee brakes.

1451

How do authorities in England express their appreciation for the public maintaining orderly lines?

They say, "ThanQueue

545

What did the losing coach say about his opponent after losing by 52 points?

I found them very offensive.

1774

Why don't gluten-free people consume wheat?

It goes against their grain.

436

What's involved with cloud seeding?

It's just shooting the breeze.

1264

Is this cat anything special?

Yes - it's The Cat in the Hat.

2062

why did the man make window blinds from potato peels?

He heard they were a nightshade.

373

How in one word can one complain that their grapes aren't ripe yet?

Gripe

872

Joseph Glidden invented the modern security fence. Who was his wife?

Barb

1153