Pictures:

Why did the general always have his walking stick with him?

He never made decisions without his staff.

1923

What do you call a pig who lost his voice?

Disgruntled

1229

What sickness does one get from building too hot a fire in a ski cottage?

Cabin fever

704

How much does a teenager weigh?

An Instagram.

796

What did the Mayor say about the turnstile jumping on the subway?

That's not fare!

1476

How did the honor student fail his Logic course?

He was being unreasonable.

291

What is this an example of?

A knee jerk reaction.

1293

What is a risk of driving an electric car?

Being charged with battery.

1789

How does one refer to the hallways at mental institutions?

Psycho paths.

3049

How did we know the Russian musician would be a good match for the ballet dancer?

Because he played the ballet lika.

815

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

Prime mates

3222

What's the best way to get people to listen to you?

Create a heeded discussion.

1496