Pictures:

What do you call a PhD in Mathematics?

An Add Executive.

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How did Joe afford an expensive water filter system for his home?

At a liquidation sale.

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Where's a cheap option for finding certain wristwatch parts?

A second-hand store.

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How does one get men to listen?

Stress to "He'd" his words.

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Why did Jay attend traffic court for his illegal Left Turn?

He knew he was right.

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Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

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This is our new dog, Crusty.

All he does is loaf around all day.

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Why did John think he had Type O blood, when he really had Type A?

His birth records had a Type O.

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How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

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What happens if you ask your builder not to carpet the steps in your house?

He'll give you a blank stair.

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Which fruit has a Y chromosome?

BOYSenberries

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Which prison's glee club repeats the lyrics of each song?

Sing Sing.

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