Pictures:

Why did the writer visit the U.S. Mint?

To coin a phrase.

199

How do patrons locate a Greek restaurant when their GPS isn't working?

They use a gyro scope

337

Why did the woman crash into the building where Mark had just been standing?

Her driving instructor told to hit the mark.

1801

Why was this water making high-pitched noises?

Because it was a creak.

1472

What is the vegetable of choice for most percussionists?

Beets, of course.

1045

What did the painter say when told he was supposed to paint the ship WHITE - not navy blue?

Oops - I blue it.

1468

How did this farmer increase his bottom line?

He added a new machine to cut celeries.

1806

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220

What is a dehydrating fruit business like?

It's full of hot air.

1105

What is another name for a florist?

A petal pusher

509

What would one say when learning how a skunk's odor is produced?

That makes scents.

2277

What's the secret to a healthy heart?

Take medical advice with a grain of salt.

3255