Pictures:

Shane Ronay
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What happened when a jar of pickles spilled onto music sheets?

It made sour notes.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did one man leave the card playing group of his wife's friends?

He needed to "de-talks".

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Shane Ronay
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What was the computer monitor's New Year's resolution?

1920 X 1080, same as the year before.

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Shane Ronay
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What is the exact enrollment at the Carmelite Convent?

Nun

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Shane Ronay
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How are marriage and divorce similar?

In both cases, you tie a knot / not.

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Shane Ronay
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What can have both a good and bad result?

Pennies from Heaven

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Shane Ronay
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How does one obtain a very firm crease from the dry cleaner?

Request an increase.

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Shane Ronay
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What is the status of one's yard after cleaning up after the dog?

It's dooty-free.

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Shane Ronay
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What do you call someone with no capacity at all for gardening?

A blooming idiot.

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Shane Ronay
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What sickness does one get from building too hot a fire in a ski cottage?

Cabin fever

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Shane Ronay
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Why did the priest act so differently in church?

It was his altar ego

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Shane Ronay
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Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

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