Pictures:

How did Madam Sonia become a fortune teller?

By "chants"

1996

Why is being a cloud seeder such an easy job?

They just shoot the breeze all day long.

1785

Which type of beer takes longer to make than other beers?

Lager

705

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

Which ethnic food is highest in fiber?

Thai

576

What is an orthodontist's main goal?

A sound bite

210

Why do courthouses attract the most audiophiles?

Because of the "hearings".

1096

Which business finds emergency replacement musicians?

Band Aid

288

What did the man say when needing to repair his socks?

Darn!

2545

Who oversees chickens?

Chicken Tenders

2663

What device do psychologists use to measure positive emotions?

An Oh!dometer

840

Why was Timmy destined to become a tennis pro?

He raised a racket since he was young.

377