Pictures:

Why did Bob think this would be a balanced diet?

It was 3 square meals a day.

1303

What did the family photographer say to those posing?

We'll be done in a flash.

257

How is he trying to lose weight by wearing bread on his head?

It's a new loaf hat diet.

1351

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

What is the official fruit of Florida?

Elderberries

1784

Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?

Swarm.

7

Why did the woman crash into the building where Mark had just been standing?

Her driving instructor told to hit the mark.

1801

How does one obtain a very firm crease from the dry cleaner?

Request an increase.

580

Why should one take colitis seriously?

It could lead to a semi-colon.

1071

What's wrong with overseeing a coatroom in July?

Nobody has hang-ups.

1075

How did the honor student fail his Logic course?

He was being unreasonable.

291

What do mermaids use to wash their fins?

Tide

2518