Pictures:

What is a punster's favorite vegetable?

Corn (you knew that).

1047

How did the "Closed" sign read at the smoke shop?

Close...but no cigar!

1792

What did the man say after a meteor destroyed his house?

This really hit home.

2175

Why was the vegetarian disappointed at the dinner party?

He thought sweetbreads came from a bakery.

754

What did Al think about his friend owning his own plumbing supply business?

It was just a pipe dream.

1301

It's illegal to laugh loudly in Hawaii.

You must keep it to a low "Ha".

1430

What did the losing coach say about his opponent after losing by 52 points?

I found them very offensive.

1774

What type of shop specializes in watch components that are accurate up to the minute?

A second-hand store.

707

What would you call one of these owned by several people?

An OUR Glass

1501

What is as important as a good watch dog?

A good CAT scan

284

When would someone use fine sandpaper?

When they are off coarse.

1452

What did the Design major do when he wasn't accepted to the program?

He went back to the Drawing Board.

1818