Pictures:

Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

205

What did the family photographer say to those posing?

We'll be done in a flash.

257

Why do 95% of bald people still own a comb?

They can't part with it.

2221

What happens to dairy cows when they die?

They get CREAMated.

1059

How did the new photographer's business double in no time?

Increased exposure.

1599

Why did J.K. Rowling stop writing Harry Potter books after book 7?

That's all she wrote.

1305

Where is the Royal Rodeo held?

Buckingham palace.

1436

Which doctor is best to oversee your knee surgery?

The Joint Chief of Staff

186

What happens when King Charles gets a toothache?

It's a royal pain.

1510

My friend stopped working at the chemical factory.

It was a toxic work environment.

1402

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

What is this fooseball player in need of?

Plastic Surgery

2001