Pictures:

Why did the luxury home builder use only inexpensive laminate kitchen countertops?

He lost his marbles

216

What position is for one working part-time overseeing an orchestra?

A semi-conductor

1210

What was the frustrated mother grateful for after trying to toilet train her toddler?

ICBM

332

Do people enjoy recycling so many items?

Sort of.

1633

What did the man say when he no longer needed to wear glasses?

Bye, focals!

932

What's going on here?

The cat is practically out of the bag.

273

Which doctor would you want overseeing your bacterial infection?

The Chief of Staph

187

Which African nation is known for their pigs?

Guinea

1102

Why did the man buy so much bottled water?

There was a liquidation sale.

1026

How did the honor student ace his Political Science exam?

By being politically correct.

221

Why did Bill not become a gastroenterologist?

He didn't have the guts.

2018

What do mermaids use to wash their fins?

Tide

2518