Pictures:

Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

215

What is the vegetable of choice for most percussionists?

Beets, of course.

1045

Why did the man buy so much bottled water?

There was a liquidation sale.

1026

Why was the girl so upset to have to repeat her class?

She felt degraded.

596

What did the Design major do when he wasn't accepted to the program?

He went back to the drawing board.

1818

What was the result of Rick building a successful sunglasses business?

He had it made in the shades.

414

Why did George sell his barber shop?

He found cleaning it to be a hair-raising experience.

871

What is someone called who sees a crime committed at an Apple store?

An iWitness

1240

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

Prime mates

3222

Why did Debra Smith come up with exactly 1,263 famous idioms?

That's all she wrote.

1791

Why was Timmy destined to become a tennis pro?

He raised a racket since he was young.

377

What is the term for a relapse of influenza?

Deja Flu

2955