Pictures:

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

Why did the foolish prospector think the goldmine was his?

There was a sign outside it that said "Mine".

1083

How are a salad and a Paris bathroom similar?

They both accommodate French dressing.

793

What items does someone most need to weather an emergency?

Staples

294

Why was this man being treated intervenously?

He had severe poison i.v.

884

What did the baseball park do when their antique organ stopped working?

They found an organ donor.

825

Who is in charge of a bicycle factory?

The spokesperson

2216

Which type of vehicle transports a person to the doctor when he hurts his foot?

A toe truck.

1441

Which U.S. city do people have the hardest time losing weight?

Gainesville, FL

422

Why is being a cloud seeder such an easy job?

They just shoot the breeze all day long.

1785

Which division of a hospital has the best patient supervision?

The "I see you" (ICU)

1007