Pictures:

Why did astrophysicist Steven Hawking fail his history class?

It wasn't rocket science.

1262

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126

Why should we have more appreciation for street contractors?

Because they pave the way for us.

635

What position is for one working part-time overseeing an orchestra?

A semi-conductor

1210

What would one say when learning how a skunk's odor is produced?

That makes scents.

2277

What was the policeman's response when Bill said he was speeding to get to his yoga class?

He thought it was a stretch.

183

Why did the newborn require immediate surgery?

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

1274

Who represents the National Bicycle Tire Association?

Their spokesman

3208

How to summarize a person's life after being convicted of a crime?

Con descending.

1125

Why was President Clinton elected in between Presidents George H. and George H.W.?

Because a Bill at hand is worth two in the Bush.

279

Why was this year's Chili Cook-off cancelled?

Somebody spilled the beans.

1266

Why did the flock of unshorn sheep keep bumping into each other?

They had the wool over their eyes

222