Pictures:

A photo of synthesis.

308

This is our new dog, Crusty.

All he does is loaf around all day.

1786

Which college shows the most compassion to fire victims?

Aw, burn University

484

How does one get men to listen?

Stress to "He'd" his words.

1483

Why was the tourist dropped off on a deserted island?

He requested an isle seat.

1461

What happened to the circus performer who swallowed a wood file?

He got a raspy voice.

1006

Is this cat anything special?

Yes - it's The Cat in the Hat.

2062

How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

220

What novel experience did Dan like to share with others?

His joy of reading new novels.

1088

What is someone called who sees a crime committed at an Apple store?

An iWitness

1240

Why was was it so loud everywhere Tim went?

He liked stealing everyone's thunder.

1320

What are "octopy"?

Pizzas topped with calamari.

2356