Pictures:

How does a pipefitter foreman ensure his workers aren't too noisy when on jobsites?

He asks them to pipe down.

983

What is a good 2-part security method?

Beagles and locks.

2549

How was the octopus able beat the shark in a fight?

It was well armed.

795

What did they say about the king who was only 12 inches tall?

He was an excellent ruler.

3209

Why did the quarterback run instead of throwing to his wide receiver?

He was cut off at the pass.

492

How did the wife tell her husband she was expecting triplets?

She began with a pregnant pause.

591

Why should you never scream into one of these?

You'll strain your voice.

1239

Why did the foolish prospector think the goldmine was his?

There was a sign outside it that said "Mine".

1083

What do you call a pig who lost his voice?

Disgruntled

1229

What did the doctor use this room for?

A wading room

3169

Why was this man being treated intervenously?

He had severe poison i.v.

884

How would you refer to your dog-sitting neighbor that lost your pet?

Your dog gone neighbor.

1557