Pictures:

What are the options in making it to shore?

Row oar swim.

1500

How do weight loss clinics refer to conversations regarding restricted foods?

Ate speech

1463

Which hospital uses high-fat condiments to cure diseases?

The Mayo Clinic

1001

What course does a punster take to go from making bad to good puns?

End o'cringe-ology

2004

How did President Johnson always know the right thing to say?

A little Birdie told him.

1136

Why are Persians good forecastors of future events?

Because they can far see (Farsi).

2237

What's happening here?

A cargo ship is trying to contain itself.

1503

What's the best time to create a virtual loaf of bread?

E-leaven.

1319

What's worse than a strong reprimand?

An icy stair.

351

How did the boat sink at the dock?

Too much pier pressure.

1406

What is this fooseball player in need of?

Plastic Surgery

2001

What did Reggie name his band?

The Regimen

1115