Pictures:

Why are bakery employees so nice to their customers?

They know where their bread is buttered.

435

Why does this horse always give leg cramps to its riders?

His name is Charley.

1275

What is not a nice way to describe how one's vacuum cleaner works?

It sucks!

368

Why did the general always have his walking stick with him?

He never made decisions without his staff.

1923

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

What course does a punster take to go from making bad to good puns?

End o'cringe-ology

2004

What is the waiting area for mens' haircuts called?

The barber queue

2129

What happens when military officers attend a party?

They order everyone "a round".

1232

What did they say about the king who was only 12 inches tall?

He was an excellent ruler.

3209

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126

What happened when a jar of pickles spilled onto music sheets?

It made sour notes.

690

Why was the tourist dropped off on a deserted island?

He requested an isle seat.

1461