Pictures:

Why do people love Tom so much?

It's his rye sense of humor.

1474

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

What happens to an ethical Italian cleaning lady after she passes away?

She's a maid in heaven.

1495

How is your mother's annoying baby sister similar to a city in Western Europe?

They're both aunt twerps.

1397

Which industry helps news broadcast companies remain profitable?

Radiology

757

What happens to one's ability to walk after 8 drinks?

The results are staggering.

1235

Which dog breed enjoys eating twice as much as other breeds?

The Chow Chow

1519

Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

205

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

Do people enjoy recycling so many items?

Sort of.

1633

Where do gardeners love to shop?

Bloomingdales

1148

How did the boat sink at the dock?

Too much pier pressure.

1406