Pictures:

Why did the woman remove unsightly blood vessels in her legs?

She was vein.

1069

How to people from this country justify where they were born?

They must Peruv it.

1209

What's worse than a strong reprimand?

An icy stair.

351

Which city do the inhabitants rarely need an alarm clock?

Waco, Texas

421

How are the prices at the new Italian restaurant?

They cost a pretty penne.

781

How did President Johnson always know the right thing to say?

A little Birdie told him.

1136

What happened to the man driving with a broken tail pipe?

He became exhausted.

828

What are the strongest sea creatures?

Mussels

262

How did this person respond when asked how they're doing?

Doing well, thank you.

1449

How did Madam Sonia become a fortune teller?

By "chants"

1996

Which sea creature is stranger than a platypus?

An odder

188

What demonstrated Rover's loyalty most?

He'd jump through hoops.

1820