Pictures:

What happens to an ethical Italian cleaning lady after she passes away?

She's a maid in heaven.

1495

Why did the newborn require immediate surgery?

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

1274

What are the odds that this man will slim down?

A fat chance.

380

What is not a nice way to describe how one's vacuum cleaner works?

It sucks!

368

A picture worth a thousand words.

1269

What was the frustrated mother grateful for after trying to toilet train her toddler?

ICBM

332

What did the losing coach say about his opponent after losing by 52 points?

I found them very offensive.

1774

Why can't everyone text at the same speed?

Not everyone is the same type.

1092

Why did John think he had Type O blood, when he really had Type A?

His birth records had a Type O.

573

What is this man's position at the company?

Chairman of the Bored

1469

What did the doctor use this room for?

A wading room

3169

Who invented tiny nails?

A guy named Brad.

1003