Pictures:

How does one shorten a coughing fit?

Using a hack

1396

What did they say about the king who was only 12 inches tall?

He was an excellent ruler.

3209

How does one obtain a very firm crease from the dry cleaner?

Request an increase.

580

Where do gardeners love to shop?

Bloomingdales

1148

What did the Mayor say about the turnstile jumping on the subway?

That's not fare!

1476

How to describe a boxer too tired to continue?

Out of whack.

637

How did the wife tell her husband she was expecting triplets?

She began with a pregnant pause.

591

Why do people dislike washing windows?

They're a pane.

371

If Fairly Dickinson University provides undergraduate degrees, what is their graduate school called?

Very Dickinson

483

What device do psychologists use to measure positive emotions?

An Oh!dometer

840

Why is it that lions get more food than tigers, leopards, and jaguars?

They always get the lion's share

271

Do allergists make a good living?

It's nothing to sneeze at.

243