Pictures:

What was the policeman's response when Bill said he was speeding to get to his yoga class?

He thought it was a stretch.

183

Why was the lady afraid to get her head measured at sea?

She was afraid of cap sizing.

190

Is the entire world starting to think exactly the same?

Just the indoctri-nations.

1114

What does a smart person have in common with a school principal?

They are both in charge of their faculties.

3168

What's the most prevalent sickness among roofers?

Shingles

192

How do authorities in England express their appreciation for the public maintaining orderly lines?

They say, "ThanQueue

545

What was the name of Joe's band, and which instrument did he play?

Band Joe.

817

What is the proper term for a clash between snakes?

A hissy fit

219

Where do mathematicians go on vacation?

Times Square

1434

How in one word can one complain that their grapes aren't ripe yet?

Gripe

872

How does one obtain a very firm crease from the dry cleaner?

Request an increase.

580

What is this man's position at the company?

Chairman of the Bored

1469