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What's a good career for a Math Major?

An Add Executive

2225

What type of gopher is the most difficult to keep out of a celery patch?

A stalker

1444

What's a good name for a plumbing company?

In Sink

981

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

How to summarize a person's life after being convicted of a crime?

Con descending.

1125

What did they say about the king who was only 12 inches tall?

He was an excellent ruler.

3209

What do you call someone using a fake stun gun?

A taser teaser

329

What do you call a bear that is manic depressive?

A bi-polar bear.

1861

Why did the writer visit the U.S. Mint?

To coin a phrase.

199

Why is this large gun a better value than smaller ones?

It provides a bigger bang for your buck.

1268

Why did the gardener see a dermotologist?

Because of his green thumb.

217

Why did the cinnamon havester quit his job?

He kept barking up the wrong tree.

1796