Pictures:

Why did Jon quit his job at the marble quarry?

He was always between a rock and a hard place.

1272

What do people on the Keto Diet use to measure their food intake?

A carburetor

1318

Why is wine part of religious ceremonies?

Because it's De' vine.

1702

Why did Tom get fired from the kitchen hardware business?

He just couldn't handle it.

379

Where do uncles find their wives?

An aunt farm

1462

What happened when a jar of pickles spilled onto music sheets?

It made sour notes.

690

Why was the small horse limited to merely walking in a straight line?

It was a one-trick-pony.

270

Why do some of these specific instruments look different from the others?

They're members of the opposite sax.

826

It has to do with the price of tea in China.

876

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

Which country is most upset about gas-guzzling automobiles?

Mad at gas car

1103

What's good about having a one-track mind?

You don't easily go off the rails.

1175