Pictures:

What do you call a one-legged hippo?

A hoppo

2602

What's going on here?

This man's wife asked him to hold his horses.

875

What did the cemetery director say when a man bought one grave, and then another for his wife?

"Hmm...the plot thickens!"

255

How to properly refer to someone convicted for illegally texting?

Con-text

1093

Which type of make-up remover is used by all genders?

Withdrawing an apology

1811

What did the sheep say to his friend who had been sheared?

Boy did you get fleeced.

1137

How do weight loss clinics refer to conversations regarding restricted foods?

Ate speech

1463

Why did the judge put the man in jail for stealing from the bakery?

Evidence showed he really took the cake.

198

Why did the foolish prospector think the goldmine was his?

There was a sign outside it that said "Mine".

1083

How does appreciation show one's intelligence?

You're a great fool if your not grate ful.

2243

Which division of a hospital has the best patient supervision?

The "I see you" (ICU)

1007

What is it called when police interrogate a hen?

Grilled chicken.

1722