Pictures:

Which horse did the cowboy only ride after dark?

A night mare

189

How to properly refer to someone convicted for illegally texting?

Con-text

1093

How long must one walk a dog that lives indoors?

Until they're pooped.

2548

Why did the man travel to India for a corned beef sandwich?

He heard they had a new Delhi.

292

Why did Bill order these to wear himself?

He's trying to lose weight through resistance-training.

1514

What happened to the fireman who fought fire with fire?

He got fired.

1405

What is the motto of the Gluten Intolerance Association?

The Pain of Grain Makes us Mainly Abstain.

235

What's involved with cloud seeding?

It's just shooting the breeze.

1264

How do you make a waterbed more bouncy?

Use spring water.

3111

What's the best way to get people to listen to you?

Create a heeded discussion.

1496

What happens if certain fowl don't build insulated nests for winter?

They go cold turkey.

1276

What is an orthodontist's main goal?

A sound bite

210