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Why did the foolish prospector think the goldmine was his?

There was a sign outside it that said "Mine".

1083

What is another name for the Stanley Cup Finals?

The Punch Bowl

231

What's an inefficient way to kill ants around your shrubs?

Beat around the bush.

1814

What did they say about the king who was only 12 inches tall?

He was an excellent ruler.

3209

What does a smart person have in common with a school principal?

They are both in charge of their faculties.

3168

Why did astrophysicist Steven Hawking fail his history class?

It wasn't rocket science.

1262

Where do puns come from?

The funny farm

204

Which part of the world do people contract mild forms of amnesia?

Micronesia

1104

Why did the judge put the man in jail for stealing from the bakery?

Evidence showed he really took the cake.

198

What is this man's motto?

"A waist is a terrible thing to waste".

306

Why did the mother have sore hands?

She had meta-carpools.

1064

Which nut makes people sneeze?

The ca...ca...SHEW!

790