Pictures:

Why did the writer visit the U.S. Mint?

To coin a phrase.

199

Which fruit cannot be consumed as a single entity?

A pair

2531

Why did the cybercriminal stop, and get a real job?

He couldn't hack it.

2241

What do you do when your electrical system short-circuits?

Re-fuse to make it work.

845

How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

220

What is the proper term for a clash between snakes?

A hissy fit

219

How do patrons locate a Greek restaurant when their GPS isn't working?

They use a gyro scope

337

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

Why did the Chinese military leader suffer from malnutrition?

Everyone kept eating General Tso's chicken.

335

Why did Sally serve beef jerky at the dinner party?

It was her dry sense of humor.

551

Where do uncles find their wives?

An aunt farm

1462

How in one word can one complain that their grapes aren't ripe yet?

Gripe

872