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What's a good career path for those with wit and a command over language?

A pundit.

1025

What is the motto of the National Lactose Intolerance Association?

No Whey!

234

Why did the pastry chef cut her chocolate cake at such sharp angles?

She wanted Brownie points

211

How to describe a boxer too tired to continue?

Out of whack.

637

Why did the cinnamon havester quit his job?

He kept barking up the wrong tree.

1796

What happens to unsold bread from the bakery?

It's toast.

434

Why do people dislike washing windows?

They're a pane.

371

What is the status of one's yard after cleaning up after the dog?

It's dooty-free.

1009

What are these soldiers doing?

Trying to keep their chin-ups.

1292

What type of music do young ladies like best?

Hymns

2286

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

What was the result of the vote?

Neighs won.

1486