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What gift does the soccer player not like to receive?

He doesn't like ties, he prefers to get victories.

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Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

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When happened when the Brady family's boy couldn't sleep on their trip to Alaska?

It was the land of the midnight son.

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What is good motto for a gym, to encourage people to lose weight?

Let there be light!

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Why shouldn't you get angry at the cursor on your computer screen?

Because then you might become the curser.

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What kind of doctor is specifically assigned to you?

Your-ologist.

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What do you call a mouse that talks a lot?

A blabber-mouse.

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Why did Alan think carefully about everything decision he made?

Because to do anything else would be unthinkable.

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Why did Arlene buy a rug?

She had some problems that she wanted to sweep under it.

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How do you convey to someone that you feel connected to them as a human being?

You manity.

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What city gets its name because of its importance in the Universe?

University

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If the second hand on a clock measures seconds, what does the first hand measure?

Either minutes or hours, but we're not sure.

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