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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill have trouble falling asleep?

He was afraid of heights.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bobby feel when he spilled a jar of olive oil on himself in the morning?

It was too oily in the morning.

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What is a survey about telephone usage called?

A telephone poll.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Oedipus feel after he found out what he had done?

He felt like an Oedipus wreck.

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Akiva Lane
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What room do bats live in?

The bat room.

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What was Pandora guilty of?

Out of the box thinking.

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What do you call someone who is driven crazy by the ticking of a clock?

A luna-tick.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bob put some salt on everything he ate?

He was told to take everything with a grain of salt.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a bruise that one gets from falling on Halloween?

A boo-boo.

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How did ice cream get its name?

When you go on a scale after eating it, you scream.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the rancher say to the person he thought was taking down parts of his fence?

I'm accusing you, but I hope you don't take offence.

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Akiva Lane
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What information is in an Art History book?

Artifacts.

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