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Akiva Lane
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What helps traction in marriage?

Attraction.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the head of the orchestra feel when he couldn't find people to play in it?

It was disconcerting.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the double-jointed acrobat very good at?

Patting himself on the back.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a sharp, clever woman called?

A shrewd shrew.

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Akiva Lane
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What is good name for a men's clothing store in Thailand?

Tie Land.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Lucy buy poppies from the florist?

It was Father's Day, and she bought flowers for her pop.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the conversation go between a patient and the doctor who wanted him to cut down on mayonnaise?

Mayonnaise? No you may not.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a group of cars that are flooded after a hurricane?

A car pool.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Marla always start walking with her right foot?

She wanted to put her best foot forward.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a piece of pottery in the shape of a duck?

A quack pot.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the guy from a poor neighborhood study to be a car mechanic?

He wanted to go from under the hood to under the hood.

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