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Akiva Lane
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Why is a pet lusion that seems to be sick not really sick?

Because it's an ill lusion.

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What kind of tea brings people closer?

Sincera-Tea.

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What is similar between slamming on the car brakes and baseball?

They both have a short stop.

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What do you call a chiropractor in Egypt?

A Cairo Practor.

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What did the jigsaw puzzle man have trouble with?

He found it hard to pull himself together.

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Why did the former English teacher, when he became Mayor, advocate a tax on all sinful behavior?

He was an expert about syntax.

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Why are we held accountable for what we eat?

Because a person can choose what he chews.

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How do you describe pulling a penny out of the sewer?

The ascent of a cent with a scent.

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What is a good ad slogan for the Grates metal company?

Get great grates at Grates grates.

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What kind of eyes are good for saving money?

Econom eyes.

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Why did the light bulb have emotional problems?

Because it was turned off.

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What do you call a farmer who makes medicine from the food he grows?

A farmacist.

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