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Why did the mint chocolate candies look so fresh and clean?

Because they were in mint condition.

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How did Elsie the cow feel when she couldn't give milk?

She felt like an udder failure.

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Why is the location of the letter 'I' very important in marriage?

It's the difference between 'marriage' and 'mirage', and 'marital arts' and 'martial arts'.

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When the nerve cell tells the muscle cell to contract, what is the muscle cell's reaction?

You have some nerve!

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How did the baseball player feel about baseballs that land close to home plate?

He felt they were hitting too close to home.

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What vegetable do you not want to take onto a boat?

A leek.

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What being always acts and feels lousy?

The louse.

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Did the baker find it difficult to learn his craft?

He thought it was a piece of cake.

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What is it called when a fusion nuclear reaction starts acting unpredictably?

Con-fusion.

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Why did the employee make sure he never signed his name twice?

He was concerned that if he re-signed, he'd be out of a job.

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Why was Amanda surprised that this perfume was so expensive?

She was told it was worth a red scent.

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What kind of boxes are similar to people who don't like card games?

Card bored.

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