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What is a gym called filled with people who want to lose weight?

A waist land.

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How did the vegetarian feel about hotdogs?

They are the wurst!

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What do you call a delicatessen in a mental hospital?

A psycho deli.

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What paragraph does Ron Desantis add to every contract?

A DeSantis clause.

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Why is Joe doing this?

He was told it was important to push the envelope.

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Why did Andy become a tightrope walker in the circus?

He was told that big money could be made in jobs that are online.

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When Emily was on a diet, what were the slowest days?

The fast days.

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What is a survey done over the phone called?

A telephone poll.

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When Maxine was offered wine, what did she answer that was misinterpreted?

Wine, not.

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How could one describe all the things that Bob disliked?

Each is a version of a different aversion.

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If the second hand on a clock measures seconds, what does the first hand measure?

Either minutes or hours, but we're not sure.

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What did the people on the ship say when they saw Jack the pirate boarding their ship?

Hijack.

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