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How did Irving's family react when he wanted to be called Izzy?

They found it unnerving.

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Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

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What do you call a Jewish congregation in Orange County that tries to focus on their prayers?

Concentrated Orange Jews.

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What was the longest mistake in history?

The Roman Error, it lasted 500 years.

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What food is this?

Apple Pie

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What is it called when a parrot chews off and swallows the weak end of a stick?

A weekend in parrots.

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What is similar between a worn out tire and getting social security?

It may be time to retire.

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What ring weight absolutely nothing?

The ring tone of a phone.

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What's a good name for a parking garage that treats its customers like royalty?

Par King.

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Why was Mike concerned about the liquids that he drank?

Because after he drank them, they were drunk.

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How did Linda react when she saw that her bank balance started with a minus sign?

She thought it was a bad sign.

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Why did Beverly avoid bidding too much at auctions?

She thought it might be considered morbid.

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