Pictures:

What did Goldie Jones call her lock company?

Goldie Locks.

1844

Why was Betty happy with the work of the seamstress?

It was sew good.

1535

How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

588

Why did Amy like giving watches as presents?

She felt there is no present like the time.

1643

How did Patty feel about her wonderful female cat?

She was purr-fect.

456

How is a person who is looking for parking like Lady Macbeth?

He feels like saying 'Out out damn spot'!

52

What is more minute than a minute?

A second.

2696

How do you describe that the bark of a tree doesn't taste as good as its fruit?

It's bark is worse than it's bite.

2505

What is the heaviest soup?

One Ton soup.

1344

What bank manager has a white horse near him?

The loan arranger has his horse Silver.

609

What is similar between certain blood types and a spelling error?

One is a type-O, and the other is a typo.

2315

What do you call a hippie who is a phony?

A hippie-crit.

1130