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Akiva Lane
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What did Goldie Jones call her lock company?

Goldie Locks.

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Why was Betty happy with the work of the seamstress?

It was sew good.

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How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

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Why did Amy like giving watches as presents?

She felt there is no present like the time.

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How did Patty feel about her wonderful female cat?

She was purr-fect.

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How is a person who is looking for parking like Lady Macbeth?

He feels like saying 'Out out damn spot'!

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Akiva Lane
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What is more minute than a minute?

A second.

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How do you describe that the bark of a tree doesn't taste as good as its fruit?

It's bark is worse than it's bite.

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What is the heaviest soup?

One Ton soup.

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What bank manager has a white horse near him?

The loan arranger has his horse Silver.

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What is similar between certain blood types and a spelling error?

One is a type-O, and the other is a typo.

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What do you call a hippie who is a phony?

A hippie-crit.

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