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Akiva Lane
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What happened when the oil candle over Bill's bed fell on him while he was sleeping?

He woke up oily in the morning.

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Akiva Lane
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Are robots brave?

Well, they have nerves of steel.

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Akiva Lane
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How is the way that cows chew their cud similar to letters to the editor?

They both involve feedback.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do violinists put rosin on their violin bows?

It makes the violins rosin-ate.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a book called that is a collection of reviews about the movie Psycho?

Psycho Analysis

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Akiva Lane
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What was the problem with the rebellious beaver?

He didn't give a dam.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Mr. and Mrs. Beaver find it hard to get along?

Because they found each other so dam a-gnawing.

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Akiva Lane
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What illness do birds get after they fly a lot?

The flew.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe someone who has gotten use to being a little crazy?

Home on deranged.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a long document written by a lawyer called?

A brief.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe stop stealing, get a job with a salary?

He found that crime does not pay.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill use AI on his iPhone to get advice about his health?

He figured, 'An Apple a day keeps the doctor away'.

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