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Akiva Lane
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Why was Jim happy that after dieting he fit into his old clothes?

He knew that when it comes to dieting, it's survival of the fit-est.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Amanda enjoy re-reading books by James Joyce?

She liked re-Joyce-ing.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a meal eaten by a pilot in a supersonic jet?

Fast food.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill's tongue always hurt?

Every time he wanted to say something that he shouldn't say, he bit his tongue.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is Joe doing this?

He was told it was important to push the envelope.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the name of a memoir of the day-to-day tasks of someone who milks cows?

Daily dairy diary.

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Akiva Lane
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What word describes a variety of missiles?

Missile-aneous.

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Akiva Lane
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What's another way of saying that it seems that I have 4 pears?

It appears that I have a pair of a pair of pears.

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Akiva Lane
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Because Gus was always happy, what was his nickname?

Fungus.

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Akiva Lane
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What French Queen did not advocate dieting?

Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake.'

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Why did Arlene dislike washing the dishes?

It gave her a sinking feeling.

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