Pictures:

Why did Martha carry a small rock with her?

To remind her that sometimes life is hard.

532

What cosmetics does a woman wear when she wants to end an argument?

Make up make-up.

1705

What is a motto of a podiatrist?

We succeed with de feet.

320

What does a baseball cap and an overturned boat have in common?

Cap size.

3005

How do you describe a doctor that is against nasal sprays?

He's anti anti-histamines.

2430

What's high in the middle, and round at both ends?

The word Ohio.

684

Why did Bill's moving company shake the furniture as they moved it?

Because they wanted to be movers and shakers.

1986

How did Johnny feel when he spent all the pennies in his piggy bank?

It left him cents-less.

97

What did the miner say when he found gold?

It's mine!

1583

Why did Jerry expect to hear quacking after the air conditioning repair men left?

They said they were putting in new air conditioning ducks.

1536

What kind of tea seems to last forever?

Eterni-tea.

997

If you take a liter of water, and pour it out, what does it become?

Leaderless.

478