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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill get furious at the person who tried to steal his goat?

It really got his goat.

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Why did the mother agree to carry her crying child?

To have a walking, crying child would be too pre-carry-us.

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What did the geologist call his book about the cliffs near the ocean?

Cliff's Notes.

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What is the difference between a real man and one that is not real?

One is Sir Real, and the other is surreal.

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What was the best advice that Benjamin Franklin ever got?

People told him to go fly a kite.

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Why did the politician like to winnow grain on the farm?

He liked how it is spelled: win now.

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What was Bill's reaction when he found a hole in the wall of the outhouse?

"I need that like a hole in the head'.

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What do you call a Jewish congregation in Orange County that tries to focus on their prayers?

Concentrated Orange Jews.

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What was Jose's reaction to his first baseball game?

He was impressed how everyone got up at the start and asked him, 'Jose can you see'?

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On what kind of day does time seem to go slowest?

On a fast day.

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What can be said about people who work around the clock?

They are shiftless.

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Akiva Lane
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What's a good name for a fish restaurant?

Salmon Enchanted Evening.

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