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What political system tries to make people calm?

Calm-unisim.

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What did the geologist call his book about the cliffs near the ocean?

Cliff's Notes.

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What do you call a rat whose name is Demmik?

Demmik Rat.

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What do you call a delicious English herring?

Yum kippers.

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Why did Sandra like eating blueberries and strawberries.

They tasted berry, berry good, and they made her berry, berry happy.

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What is the difference between starting a new job and eating hotdogs?

With one you try to pass muster, and with the other you pass the mustard.

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Why was Mrs. Jones always looking under her son's bed?

She was hoping that there might be something new under the son.

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How was Gumby when it came to making appointments?

He was very flexible.

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What is a trumpet made from a shoe called?

A shoe horn.

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How do you compare baseball, bowling, and unions?

Baseball: 3 strikes=out, Bowling: 12 strikes= perfect game, Union: strikes are unlimited.

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Why do internet browsers tend to gain weight?

They use cookies.

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What is similar between paying for a meal and ducks?

They both have bills.

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