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What do you call a large amount of stamps?

A stamp-ede.

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What does a lawyer wear to a trial?

A law suit.

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Why did Betty watch the weeds grow in the vacant lot?

Because she enjoyed it as the plot thickened.

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What spice doesn't need an expiration date?

Thyme.

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In the body, what is between tendon B and tendon D.

Tendency.

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Why didn't the king allow anything to be placed over his throne?

He didn't want to think about the phrase 'over throne'?

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What do labor unions have to do with your son's friends sleeping over?

Boy cots.

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How did the moose get into the restaurant?

The customer asked for mousse, and the waiter brought him one.

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What is a tavern called that only serves chocolate liqueur?

A chocolate bar.

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What music do you wrap presents to?

Rap music.

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When Jack felt that his out-house was too dark, how did he feel after he put a large hole on the top of the door to let in light?

I needed that like a hole in the head.

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What seeds are named after fathers?

Poppy seeds.

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