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What ancient city was named after the wife of Uncle Ock?

Antioch

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Why is a sleeping person like a spy?

Because he is under cover.

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How is someone who falls similar to someone in debt?

They are both losing their balance.

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What vegetable do you not want to take onto a boat?

A leek.

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What do you call someone who is dishonest with words?

A lexi-con.

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What is similar between a tile salesman and a lizard?

One is a tile rep, and the other is a reptile.

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What is the difference between Moby Dick and a blues band?

One is a blue whale, and the other is a blue wail.

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What do you say to a friend who is trying to uproot a tree

I'm rooting for you.

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Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

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When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

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Why did a lot of people want to use Alan Richter's bathroom scale?

Because they wanted to know what they weighed on the Richter scale.

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Why did the Jones family put pails at the edge of their property?

Because everthing after that was beyond the pail.

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