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Why are we held accountable for what we eat?

Because a person can choose what he chews.

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Why did the manager buy a very large piece of paper?

Because he wanted all his workers to be on the same page.

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What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

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What happened to Cynthia when she was in Hollywood and hit her head?

She saw stars.

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Why did Alan give pennies to people in the street?

He felt the people would benefit by common cents.

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Why did King Louis XV say, "After me comes the flood"?

He reigned for 59 years, and King Louis XIV reigned for 72 years, and after all that reigning, of course there would be a flood!

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Why is a mind like a parachute?

It only works when it is open.

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Was Anna a vegetarian?

Actually, she was vague on if she was a vegan.

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What can you say about a bagel with a very large hole?

It's hole is bigger than the sum of its parts.

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What kind of running causes things to become empty?

Running out of things.

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How did Billy react when he got a box of marbles for his birthday.

He thought it was marbleous.

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What is inside a box of matches that falls from the sky?

A match made in heaven.

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