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Akiva Lane
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When Emily was on a diet, what were the slowest days?

The fast days.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when the skunk hurt his nose?

It didn't smell anymore.

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Akiva Lane
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What did farmer Bill Rath call the grapes that grew in his vineyard?

Grapes of Rath.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Emily reluctant to use a tractor on her farm?

Because it didn't attract her.

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Akiva Lane
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Why were socks sold in a plastic case that looked like a pear?

It was a pear of socks.

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Akiva Lane
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How do Mr. & Mrs. Deer say hello to each other?

Hello Dear.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between paying to use a towel at the gym, and a roll of Bounty towels?

One is a pay-per towel, and the other is a paper towel.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an example of a ring that weighs nothing?

The ring of a phone or of a doorbell.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the husband say when he brought his wife flowers?

This bud's for you.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Suzy avoid eating peaches?

After eating the fruit, it was the pits.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between getting off drugs and the day after Thanksgiving?

Cold turkey.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call the view of a supermarket from the frozen food section?

The birds eye view.

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