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What being always acts and feels lousy?

The louse.

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Why does the world have problems?

Because it is bi-polar.

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What do you call a line of rabbits putting seeds into the ground a second time?

A re-seeding hare line.

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What do these have in common: a fish in the ocean, doing things well, and a small apartment?

They all involve efficiency.

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What do you call a collection for money to plant bushes?

A hedge fund.

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What is a horror movie about a watch that goes crazy?

Seiko

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When it rains, how are trees and grass similar to people?

They enjoy taking a shower.

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How did Martha feel when she cut her vegetables into very small pieces?

Grate.

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What does a liquor store have in common with a crowded highway?

They both have bottlenecks.

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What is similar between slamming on the car brakes and baseball?

They both have a short stop.

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What organic compounds are similar to people who like teenagers?

Proteins.

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At what kind of table does one read the New York Times?

The Times table.

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