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What is an airplane that is inherited called?

An heir plane.

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What did Alan say about his daughter traveling so much after she won the state's beauty contest?

I miss miss Missouri.

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What did the football player say when he punted the ball by mistake?

No punt intended.

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How is this feeling?

Wheely well.

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When Emily was on a diet, what were the slowest days?

The fast days.

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Why did Jim's team always win the tug-of-war competitions?

They had a lot of pull.

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What is it called when someone is anxious about the future?

Future tense.

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Why did Arthur try to convince his wife that money was very much in style?

Because she was spending it like it was going out of style.

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What happened when Arnold didn't recognize Emily Takin?

He was mistaken about Miss Taken.

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Why was the hungry secretary like a clock?

At meetings she took minutes, and at meals she took seconds.

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When Jerry looked at his legs, how did he know that he was eating too much?

His calves had become cows.

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Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

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