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What happens to a person whose drinking leads him to committing crimes?

He goes from drinking bars to jail bars.

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Why is moving from one house to another like fighting?

Because it involves boxing.

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Why did Beth get so upset when there was only one straw left in the dining room, and someone else took it?

Because that was the last straw!

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What do you call a hippie who is a phony?

A hippie-crit.

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How do you describe a doctor that is against nasal sprays?

He's anti anti-histamines.

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Why did Jimmy wonder where the planet Noyd is?

Because his mother said she was a Noyd.

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What is a jacket without curves?

A strait jacket.

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What is the owner of the chair store called?

The chairman.

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What do you call people who eat in a steak restaurant?

Steak holders.

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What is a relative of an air pump called?

A pump kin.

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Why was the dolphin depressed?

It felt it had no porpoise in life.

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Is it good to save your pennies?

It makes cents.

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