Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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What was the double-jointed acrobat very good at?

Patting himself on the back.

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Akiva Lane
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When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a sink filled with dirty dishes called?

Dish-sheveled.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the diver not so proud of diving into a bucket of water?

Compared to all his other abilities, it was only a drop in the bucket.

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Akiva Lane
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What party did they have in the basement flea-market?

A cellar seller cele-bration.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when a city is overrun by cats?

A cat-astrophe.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the law student who liked liquor knew he had to do?

He had to pass the bar in order to pass the bar.

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Akiva Lane
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What relative did Bill Royd name the phone operating system after?

Aunt Royd.

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Akiva Lane
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What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of the Talmud has to do with carbonated drinks?

Talmud Sota from Talmud Bubbly, studied at the Coca Kollel, as they sing Mizmor le Soda.

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Akiva Lane
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On what kind of day does time seem to go slowest?

On a fast day.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Joe mind when the wind ripped the roof off his store?

He no longer had any overhead.

1975