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What helps traction in marriage?

Attraction.

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Why does the calendar have a good social life?

It has a lot of dates.

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Why did Arnold always bet at the same race track?

He had a one-track mind.

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What is a combination of a pig and a pine tree?

A porcupine.

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What do you call a rat whose name is Demmik?

Demmik Rat.

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Though Joe was a great pitcher, why did he insist on playing other positions on the baseball team?

He didn't want to be pitch-in holed.

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What was the nickname of the orchestra conducter for the orchestra whose nickname was 'Heat'?

'Metal', because Metal conducts Heat.

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What happened when the skunk hurt his nose?

It didn't smell anymore.

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How did Bill describe his ability to make great tea?

It's my specialty.

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What state was Maxine in when she found out that a person has 100,000 miles of blood vessels?

She was in a state of awe.

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Why did Suzy avoid eating peaches?

After eating the fruit, it was the pits.

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What did Bill's therapist say about his putting plus signs in front of all numbers?

He said it was a good sign and a positive development.

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