Pictures:

What helps traction in marriage?

Attraction.

2611

Why does the calendar have a good social life?

It has a lot of dates.

1882

Why did Arnold always bet at the same race track?

He had a one-track mind.

1348

What is a combination of a pig and a pine tree?

A porcupine.

499

What do you call a rat whose name is Demmik?

Demmik Rat.

2789

Though Joe was a great pitcher, why did he insist on playing other positions on the baseball team?

He didn't want to be pitch-in holed.

1149

What was the nickname of the orchestra conducter for the orchestra whose nickname was 'Heat'?

'Metal', because Metal conducts Heat.

3043

What happened when the skunk hurt his nose?

It didn't smell anymore.

3019

How did Bill describe his ability to make great tea?

It's my specialty.

3157

What state was Maxine in when she found out that a person has 100,000 miles of blood vessels?

She was in a state of awe.

1949

Why did Suzy avoid eating peaches?

After eating the fruit, it was the pits.

1401

What did Bill's therapist say about his putting plus signs in front of all numbers?

He said it was a good sign and a positive development.

109