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How did Maxine feel when her stomach started crying because of the way she was eating?

She knew she had an upset stomach.

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Why did Jim write a last will and testament?

Because where there is a will there's a way.

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Why did the leopard go the empty parking lot and go from one parking space to another?

It wanted to prove wrong those said it couldn't change its spots.

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What did Marty say when he was saved by a lifeguard named Sam Bell?

"I was saved by the Bell".

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Why did the painting need to rest?

Because after a long day, it was fading.

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How are banks like trees?

They both have branches.

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When we feel blessed, why do we feel like singing?

Because the word blessing ends with the word sing.

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What is an army of babies called?

Infantry.

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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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Are people in a family 'absolute'?

They are 'relative', that's why they are called relatives.

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What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

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What are earings called that are in the shape of pears?

A pear of earrings.

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