Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What do you call a Hippopotomus that is a phony?

A hippo-crite.

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What part of the day has the most Ning?

More Ning.

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How did King Kong feel about the woman he was holding?

He had a crush on her.

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What is a horror movie about a watch that goes crazy?

Seiko

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What do employment recruiters and cannibals have in common?

They're both called head hunters.

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What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

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What is a group of people who share an interest in learning about and fixing electric fans?

A fan club.

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'Mer' in French means the sea. Why didn't Jules want to visit the sea at night?

That would be a night mer.

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What vegetable jumps into the deep end of the pool?

The endive.

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Are robots brave?

Well, they have nerves of steel.

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What kind of scientist studies bubbles?

A fizz-a-cist.

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Why did Evelyn go to only one store in the mall?

She felt: You see one, you see the mall.

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