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When Mark got sick and couldn't play trumpet in the school band for a week, what did he do?

The doctor gave him a note that he couldn't play notes.

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What kind of bean has regrets?

A coulda bean.

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What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

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How did Bob react when his friend said, 'You look so sunburned, did you use enough sun tan oil'.

Bob responded, 'You don't have to rub in in.'

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What is candy in the shape of trains called?

Chew-chew trains.

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What kind of scientist studies bubbles?

A fizz-a-cist.

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What is this?

Yisro Whale

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What do you call heating oil that you pay for every month?

Term oil.

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What con-man conquered a large part of Asia?

Genghis Con

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What is good motto for a gym, to encourage people to lose weight?

Let there be light!

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While building his porch, why was Arnie looking for something called 'scratch'?

Because he was building it from scratch.

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What vegetable do people mention when they want to leave some place?

They say Lettuce Go.

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