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Akiva Lane
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What happened to the person who snuck into the heated swimming pool?

He's now in hot water.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Arnold arguing with his stomach?

Because he ate something that didn't agree with him.

2007
Akiva Lane
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What did the husband say when he brought his wife flowers?

This bud's for you.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the baseball player feel about baseballs that land close to home plate?

He felt they were hitting too close to home.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of music do fathers like?

Pop music.

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Akiva Lane
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How does the can opener get its name?

Because it can open things.

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Akiva Lane
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How did people react when Jim complained about his SAAB car?

They thought it was a SAAB story.

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How did Helvetica respond when someone suggested that she go out with Times New Roman?

He's not my type.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the waiter say when the customer sent the food back to the kitchen?

Thanks for the feedback.

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Akiva Lane
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What's a good name for a parking garage that treats its customers like royalty?

Par King.

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Akiva Lane
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Where do small burps live?

In the sub-burps.

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Akiva Lane
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When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

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