Pictures:

What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

2358

What is an ancient Celtic who is very flexible called?

A fluid druid.

616

How are kangaroos and rabbits different than other animals?

They are the most hoppy.

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How did Beth feel about all the knots in her hair?

She was knot happy.

344

What is an imaginary ocean?

A fanta-sea.

695

Why did the push-button go to the therapist?

Each time someone pushed it, it was depressed.

2408

What crime does this describe?

Assault and battery.

747

What is similar about doctors' situations before and after they graduate from medical school?

First they need patience, and then they need patients.

49

What is it called when husbands tell puns to their wives?

Pun-ishment.

93

When you put chili sauce in the refrigerator in Santiago, what does it become?

Chile chilly chili sauce.

1399

What should you avoid pressing when near a cliff?

The press-ipice.

686

Where is Kuwait?

Between Iraq and a hard place.

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