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What is a cookie with a PhD called?

A smart cookie.

1446

What does Shakespeare getting sick have to do with feeling angry at someone?

ILL WILL.

252

What does a piece of paper and a soda without fizz have in common?

They are both flat.

1749

Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

810

What kind of food does a tight-rope worker try to eat?

A well-balanced diet.

1693

Why do violinists put rosin on their violin bows?

It makes the violins rosin-ate.

760

Why didn't Johnny want to wear fringes on his clothes like some of his friends?

He didn't want to be part of a fringe group.

357

Does the Moot Pencil Company make very sharp pencils?

That's a moot point.

1159

What is a person from the planet Noyd?

Annoyed.

1138

Why didn't Max like racketball?

He thought that people who played it were off the wall.

2594

Why did the football player like feeling the backs of geese?

He liked the idea of 'touch down'.

2157

What seal agrees with everything?

The seal of approval.

1886